Saturday, October 10, 2015

Two keys to six in a row

  1. Special teams - overall Tennessee holds the edge in this phase of the game, mostly due to better discipline on kickoffs. Last week exposed some fixable flaws in Georgia special teams. Shore up the youthful mistakes and don’t shoot ourselves in the foot. McKenzie not playing is less of a factor than not letting this happen again.

  2. 2. Run the damn ball. Give it to Chubb. Give it to Sony. Give it to Marshall.

Repeat. Please. 

Friday, October 9, 2015

Friday Misery - the one where Dawg fans don't drink whine

ATTN: the weekend's hashtag is.......(drumroll....)..... ......  ...........#JazzHandsOnCheckerboard

Don't get your panties in a wad now, but I'm sitting this one out. For those of you who are going, be sure to pay attention during pregame when they retire Derek Dooley's pants. Surprised it didn't take them longer to get the shit stains out.

And I'm also hearing they'll commemorate the signature win loss of the Butch Jones Era at halftime by retiring the official "Butch Please 2-pt Conversion Chart". Not sure why the chart is laminated, or that there's even a chart at all since the only words on it are "Go for won. #brickbybrick".

If your mind wanders though, take some time to ponder this - what the hell is up with Tennessee quarterbacks and their expansive foreheads?

On today’s episode of wOrD PLaY!!..
If you rearrange the letters in the phrase “ain’t no smoggy smoke on Rocky Top” you get “Wendy’s drive-thru pulled pork sammich”.

Butch might be slang for “rugged manhood” but it is also Latin for “fake juice fail”.

A Prius in Knoxville = getaway car. Add a BB gun on the floorboard = #ThugLyfe

Pig Howard spelled backward is “we’ll miss the speed with which you fumble through our endzone”. Or if you prefer acronyms - TTFNPIG.

Put the name Jancek or Willie in a wordfind and they’ll always fall to the bottom. Diagonal. And backwards.
-Christmas present DOES or DOES NOT = giving your daughter a hickie? (think hard y'all)
-Heinz IS or IS NOT a barbeque sauce?
-See Dick run. See Jane run. See Sean Jones scoop and score!
-Bill Bates is to Herschel as a horsefly is to ________________.
A. steamroller B. windshield
C. WWII era M18 Hellcat tank D. All of the things that kick a horsefly's ass

Sometimes I swear we snuck into some Knoxville frat house and drank up their shelves of boxed fermented grapes.

"My shoe is untied."
"They shoulda left Lambert in."
"I'm hungry."
"I'm tired of losing big games."
"Why can't we beat Alabama? I hate that you guys. I REALLY hate that."
"This rain is really getting me all wet."
"They shoulda put Ramsey in sooner."
"My sweet tea is too sweet."
"Oh Look! They're doing that dancing thing!"

We've become a DawgNation of whiners - "I don't like the way Coach Richt walks." We bitch and moan about every little thing - "Did you notice they don't play any songs from before 1972 over that loudspeaker. It's all new age crap." We spend an abundance of energy trying to find something unique to complain about - "If Lambert would lace his right cleat a little tighter the ball would be easier to grip. 'Specially in the rain."

"Oh LOOK! A squirrel!" - chases squirrel around yard until dizzy, passes out, wakes up with leaves in mouth, eventually remembers his Dawgvent password, logs back in


I don't mind (and even understand) the frustration. But we need to have a solution or two for every time our lips part ways with some whiny ass thought. We need to offer some idea, some small notion as to how the situation could be improved. We need to change our underwear y'all.

If you don't like the quarterback depth chart, start a petition to have four more years of eligibility. Then start another one that forbids players from entering the NFL draft until they're 25. That way Aaron Murray would be in his third senior season. (Hey Honey...check my math on that.)

If you don't like burnt toast, adjust your toaster's settings. 
"Brick by brick and box by box. Rocky Top!"

If you don't like having a sore ass, either stop shoving a funnel up there or move to Knoxville.

If you're so hung up on losing a game that you haven't worn deodorant all week and you've forgotten your kids' names, maybe now's a good time to take up candle making. If you're so pissed off at the world that you'd "BOO!!" you're own damn team, it's time you got fitted for that straight jacket or move on to a team that plays on Sundays.

We talk too much about history. (OH&BTW, that's something I warned about last Friday AHEM!). We need to live in the NOW. We need to pay attention to the road in front of us before we run right into a HillBilly Hoedown and get our nose broke. We need to take our eyes off the rear view mirror before Bama beats us twice.

We need to be some goddamn Georgia fans and not a bunch of sissies that can't keep from picking the Fruit of the Looms out from our crack. Tennessee stands before us slack-jawwed and droopy-eyed. Punch em right square in the mouth and watch them crumple into a pile of brick dust.

THAT is the task at hand. THAT is what WE do. Don't wait for them to blow another lead. We don't need other teams' blueprint because we brought our own gotdamn blueprint - let Floyd loose and run Chubb all damn day!

Folks on rocky top "get their corn from a jar". But tomorrow they get their ass handed to them on a silver platter.

Please bow your heads...dear Lord, the Baby Jesus, and Larry Munson, please let Keith Marshall run free. And don't let Josh Dobbs' ugly rub off on 'Zo Carter when he gets all those sacks tomorrow. Go Dawgs!

Thursday, October 8, 2015

"It was a big deal and something I'll always remember."

This is a spectacular read by Schlabach. It has an interactive sense as he blends the story on Herschel running over Bates 35 years ago with memories from the key people involved,video, and other images from way back when freshmen rarely played.
Bill Bates: We started blitzing, because we didn't think (Walker) would be able to pick them up. We had a blitz from one of the sides. He cut back to the left, and our coaches always told us to break down for a tackle. So I broke down.
Of course, you know how it ends. But click over if you haven't already read it and indulge yourself.

Jancek vs. Schotty, what gives?

It's hard to find a strength from the defense that ranks last in the conference, but Jake Rowe hits on something with Tennessee's secondary that I noticed in their game against Florida.
The safeties, Kelly and Randolph, both have the ability to be effective close to the line of scrimmage. Many teams have that one player who can roll down and become the extra defender, but Tennessee has the luxury of two. That allows John Jancek to flip his pressures and his coverages without being concerned about whether or not he has the right defender in the box.
I'm sure Schottenheimer has stressed this point over the past week especially. One way to counteract that and help Lambert out is to check down to a receiver out of the backfield. Of course, as Rowe also points out, if you gain yards on first down you take away this Tennessee defense's aggressiveness.

We should be able to run the ball well on Saturday. But I wouldn't mind seeing Sony or Quayvon catch some balls out of the backfield either.

Wednesday, October 7, 2015

I knew Woody Hayes, and Butchie...'re no Woody Hayes.
On Tuesday, a day after Jones told reporters that the rumors were “absolutely ridiculous,” Vols wide receivers coach Zach Azzanni fielded a question about whether Jones had ever gotten physical with any of his players. His response was unambiguous and direct.
“Never,” Azzanni said, according to Patrick Brown of the Times Free Press.
Why didn't anyone ask Azzani what Jones' two point conversion chart calls for when things get heated at practice.

And I'm a little curious as to whether Vols fans would rather this story be true or not. Or if they really even give a damn.

Humpday Hilarity - the HillBilly Mafia strikes again

(L-R Cletus, Slick and Mean Jeans)
Curious traveler in eastern Tennessee falls for "Rocky Mowntin Owysturs & Direkshuns" sign and pulls car over to side of road.

Cletus - "You wan a dozen?"

Slick - "Yup. Take a dozen."
Mean Jeans - [...silence...]
Cletus - "Ya makin' Mean Jean mad. Take a dozen now fir he gets fiesty!"
Slick - "Yup. Dozen rocky mowntin owysturs."
Mean Jeans - [...silence...]

Curious traveler asks which way to See Rock City.

Cletus - pointing north "Attaway."
Slick - pointing south "Attaway."
Mean Jeans - points west [....silence...]

Curious traveler scowls and leaves the men to their inbred hijinks.

Cletus - "Got us another one boys!"
Slick - "Yup. Bamboozuled!"
Mean Jeans - [...farts...]

Tuesday, October 6, 2015

HillBilly Hate week starts by swiggin' some..."hillbilly holler"...??

Now that we have this behind us...

I don't "favorite" many tweets, but sometimes one falls in your lap that you just know you need to save for later. If you're on the twitter and follow Chase Kelso, you know this week is his weeklong Super Bowl of social media frenzy.

At what point do "Patience" and "Coach Richt" intersect?

So here we are. Our collective ass is raw from another beatdown 'tween the hedges at the hands of Nick Saban. The "Richt apologists" and the "Anti-Richt" crowd are once again divided both cleanly and perfectly.

Where do I sit amongst this menagerie?

It's a question I get tired of asking myself. But when the other choices are to put on a pair of jorts or stick a funnel up my ass,'s my cross to bear. Yes, I understand Georgia still controls its own destiny. But first we must clear the Joaquin soaked air in two steps. One painfully hard and excruciatingly difficult. And the other both necessary and urgently needed.

1. Let's start with a question - What is different between the 2008 Bama game and Saturday night? Or if you prefer, What is different between the 2011 season opener against Boise State and Saturday night? Really, just insert any and all past losses that stick in your own personal craw as well as divided the fan base and just ask - What is different now?

The answer is not much. Other teams have lost tackle football games, even the mighty Alabama Crimson Tide. Other teams have struggled to find a quarterback. Ok, yes...even the mighty Alabama Crimson Tide. Other teams have epically failed at competing which lit a damn bonfire under the fan base. Yup, even Saban's mighty LSU defending national champion Tigers on a much drier Sanford Stadium turf.

Yes, not much has changed in Athens, except for one thing - support. I've danced with the Richt Apologists before. We even had some drinks at times and got awfully sloppy together back in the day. But for the most part, like many of you (I hope), I'm a program first guy. Yet while past losses, both the hard ones and the inexplicable ones, agitated me, I could never lay the blame entirely at one man's feet. Even if those feet belong to one Mark Richt at a time when it was popular to find buses to throw his name under.

And that's because the program was never invested in like other programs were invested in. To compare the Georgia Bulldogs to the Alabamas and the Ohio States and even the Auburns and the Floridas, was not a completely fair comparison. I don't need a stapler to do my job, but it sure does help sometimes that my boss provides me with one. That may come across as a crude example, but the point is Georgia's coaches deserve as level a playing field against the SEC competition as they can get.

And that support is coming around, quickly. Here's a portion of what I wrote back in August leading up to the start of the season:
Coach Richt bashers and Coach Richt apologists alike have to agree that the level of support for the football program in Athens is at a level that is unprecedented. Gone are the days of those that put Richt on a pedestal saying things like "Well, if only they'd let the man have the support staff he deserves..." or, "I mean jeez, Richt got caught paying his own staff out of his own bank account!"

In short, it's time to put up or shut up. No excuses. Morehead helped McGarity open the coffers. And now there's a lot less office space in Butts-Mehre.

No, I'm not declaring 2015 a Natty or bust season. But the investment should show some measure of return, no?

In the very least, I'm anxious to see how our team performs with all of this influx of support. We've all been patient. Let's see what happens the next couple seasons now that UGA is finally all in.
I'm still not willing to say this season had to be a CFB Playoffs season. But there's a reason yesterday's question has been rattling off in my head since Saturday. Again, the investment should show some measure of return, no?

But also, the last sentence from that August post - particularly the "next couple of seasons" part - is what separates at least some of the fog for me. Saturday was really, really painful to watch, but now that the program has both investors on campus as well as off of it, both public and private, both with UGA office emails and without, it seems too knee-jerk to expect immediate results and just haphazardly lay everything at Coach Richt's feet today.

But that's just me.

2. So Georgia Football remains a riddle to me. I'm perplexed as to the answer, but am more than willing to see how this team responds to adversity as it sets its aim on laying waste to the SEC East.* Because laying waste to the SEC East is what is needed, and what is deserved.

Yes, it's time to take a step forward. Despite what some have said, the Dawgs do control their own standing in the SEC East and I'm ready to watch them fight for it.

In short, Saturday was painful, but another one looms.


* And before you tell me the answer is as simple as firing the head coach, understand that the earliest that happens is late November and the actual year is as yet undetermined. Change out of your rain soaked chinos and find some more big boy pants.

Monday, October 5, 2015

I hope Joaquin is gone by then

Missouri. Night game. Praying for some good ol' Fall weather!!

Monday's lonely question

Working on a wrap up post to put a stamp on Saturday's mudfest so that I can properly move forward mentally into HillBilly week. In the meantime...

Would I feel better if we'd lost to Alabama Saturday night somewhere closer to what the 2012 SECCG looked like as opposed to the 2008 version of it?

No, you're right. It doesn't matter at all. And that's exactly what I keep telling myself. But I can't help but wonder if the angst would have less bite and the feelings would be less raw if the game had lasted into the final minutes of the 4th quarter...? Somehow...??

Whatever. It's cool. I'm moving forward little by little. Hope you are too.