Friday, December 12, 2008

And the Heisman goes to......

..........Jay Jacobs.

Can you imagine a funnier holiday movie than the one showing right now on the plains in Auburn? I've always considered A Christmas Story the greatest Christmas movie ever. Nothing gets me in the spirit like the scene with the Chinese waiters singing to the Parker family, "Deck the haws wit bows of horry, ra ra ra ra ra, ra ra ra ra."

Seriously, Tebow, McCoy or Bradford may walk away tomorrow with the hardware, but I challenge anyone to find a person more

valuable to their program's decline than Mr. Jacobs. The SEC is supposed to be the most professional of the major conferences, and yet Auburn's AD is getting outplayed by Syracuse's Daryl Gross.

I mean even Mississippi State has found their man with a sense of organization, a modicum of professionalism. They named Dan Mullen, the Florida OC earlier this week. MSU fans will get really excited about that news next week when the newspaper gets printed and word begins to spread.

As far as the pleasantries in New York, Tim Tebow has a real shot at pulling an Archie. You have to figure Colt and Sam will split the mid-west, and the left coast is always a crap shoot when a trojan isn't in the mix. So if Tebow's smile and boyish charm can sweep the eastern seaboard........we might have our first repeater since '75. Wonder who Archie's voting for?

And if lil' Tim does repeat as Heisman winner then goes on to win his second MNC......he comes back to Gainesville next season to......trim his fingernails? Work on his video application to Dancing with the Stars? Provide trailer park circumcisions to jort wearing fans?

Speaking of underclassmen about to cash in their collegiate chips: Owens, Moreno, Stafford, and Allen.......Isn't Athens a nice place to live?

I was working on a piece to project next year's starters for the Dawgs, but it would be hard to outdo this piece from David Hale. I will add this however: in 2005 we had a starting QB who had been extremely patient (DJ) and a tailback by committee that got things done. They gave LSU and Nick Saban a beatdown of glorious proportions in the Georgia Dome to bring home the banner. So all's not lost should Stafford choose the Lions and Moreno starts singing, "J-E-T-S jetsjetsjets!!" Not to be greedy, but it would help if Owens and Asher didn't follow.

Dawg Bones
  • CMR said he is pulling for Rodney Garner to land the job at his alma mater. Problem is it was just a courtesy interview, even though Garner would be a great hire.
  • If he really wanted Garner to get the job Richt should do Garner a favor and elevate him to co-coordinator NOW. It would help the Dawgs and it would give him a better shot at Auburn's head job when it is vacant again in one and a half know.....after they hire their "Shula" to keep the seat warm while Lowder twiddles his thumbs.
  • Stacy Searels was jobbed. I dare you to find an assistant coach more deserving of the Broyles Award. He loses his All-SEC monster at LT before the season starts and continuously is having to reshuffle and retool his line throughout the season. Just when things are somewhat settled, another season-ending injury pops up and it's back to the drawing board. I don't mind letting the cat outta the bag.....I smell a shout-out. Small consolation I guess.........really small.
  • Speaking of getting hosed on the awards circuit, Moreno lost the Doak Walker to some kid in Iowa. I had to look up which conference Iowa plays in. I complained to Jenn and she asked if this Hawkeye had better numbers. You know.......I'm not sure I care. 
  • I guess Knowshon and Ringer can battle it out for second on January 1st.
  • And speaking of the Capital One Bowl, the Dawgs go into the reindeer games as a touchdown favorite. I haven't watched the Spartans play yet, but Javon Ringer is supposed to be a work horse. I guess as long as he isn't as good as Tebow, Coffee or anyone who touched the ball on offense for the rambling wreck....we may have a shot.
  • Ringer has said he envisions the "perfect" game to end his collegiate career. 25 for 200 and 3 TDs.
  • Of course he also said "Georgia has a tremendous defense." Proving he's either naive or drunk.
  • Running out of career options to steer Coach Paul Johnson towards, BDB is lowering itself to a good ol' smear campaign. Syracuse failed us, Wal-Mart isn't hiring greeters until after the it is time the truth came out. CPJ is a Dawg Killer, worthy of all the indignation of one Michael "Jailyard Hero" Vick.
  • Lastly, what the hell's a hawkeye?

Friday's Feedbag
  • Word outta Knoxville is that Lane Kiffin has not only passed the NCAA test that allows him to recruit players to become hillbillys. He also has passed his driver's test on the first try and can drive a car!
  • I've got some new stuff on this other site a friend directed me to, The Bleacher Report. As you're roaming around cyber space sometime, check it out.
  • There's a scenario out there that O'Leary is on the way out at Central Florida and that Charlie Strong would be a leading candidate.
  • If that plays out, it could leave Florida without either coordinator for the MNC game. Methinks Florida still wins by two touchdowns.
  • Took the girls to see Santa this week. Some three year old behind us tried to cut into our face time. Long story short...I think I'm ink'd onto the naughty list. So no eggnog for me!
  • Tech is the favorite to win the Eat 'mor Chikin Bowl. Although I'm sure LSU will show up and dress out, Tech may have this one in the bag well before people start putting on those New Year's party hats. The Tiger defense has done nothing but disappoint all season. Johnson wins a big one on the GA Dome floor, only strengthening his ties to Vick.
Have a great weekend BDB reader! I wish you all good parking spaces and recession style prices on what is to be a merry shopping weekend. Me....I'll be safe at home relentlessly punching buttons on my remote control. Yes, the honey-do list is shortened. I managed to fix the gas logs last weekend. With my cold-natured and circulatory challenged wife, that should buy me another week and a half.

Trivia this week embraces the spirit of the season with the holiday for the rest of us. The reader with the best explanation of the origins of Festivus wins an aluminum pole that requires no decoration. In the words of Frank Costanza, "I find tinsel distracting." 

And always remember loyal readers, Festivus Yes!, Bagels NO!