Friday, December 12, 2008

And the Heisman goes to......

..........Jay Jacobs.

Can you imagine a funnier holiday movie than the one showing right now on the plains in Auburn? I've always considered A Christmas Story the greatest Christmas movie ever. Nothing gets me in the spirit like the scene with the Chinese waiters singing to the Parker family, "Deck the haws wit bows of horry, ra ra ra ra ra, ra ra ra ra."

Seriously, Tebow, McCoy or Bradford may walk away tomorrow with the hardware, but I challenge anyone to find a person more

valuable to their program's decline than Mr. Jacobs. The SEC is supposed to be the most professional of the major conferences, and yet Auburn's AD is getting outplayed by Syracuse's Daryl Gross.

I mean even Mississippi State has found their man with a sense of organization, a modicum of professionalism. They named Dan Mullen, the Florida OC earlier this week. MSU fans will get really excited about that news next week when the newspaper gets printed and word begins to spread.

As far as the pleasantries in New York, Tim Tebow has a real shot at pulling an Archie. You have to figure Colt and Sam will split the mid-west, and the left coast is always a crap shoot when a trojan isn't in the mix. So if Tebow's smile and boyish charm can sweep the eastern seaboard........we might have our first repeater since '75. Wonder who Archie's voting for?

And if lil' Tim does repeat as Heisman winner then goes on to win his second MNC......he comes back to Gainesville next season to......trim his fingernails? Work on his video application to Dancing with the Stars? Provide trailer park circumcisions to jort wearing fans?

Speaking of underclassmen about to cash in their collegiate chips: Owens, Moreno, Stafford, and Allen.......Isn't Athens a nice place to live?

I was working on a piece to project next year's starters for the Dawgs, but it would be hard to outdo this piece from David Hale. I will add this however: in 2005 we had a starting QB who had been extremely patient (DJ) and a tailback by committee that got things done. They gave LSU and Nick Saban a beatdown of glorious proportions in the Georgia Dome to bring home the banner. So all's not lost should Stafford choose the Lions and Moreno starts singing, "J-E-T-S jetsjetsjets!!" Not to be greedy, but it would help if Owens and Asher didn't follow.

Dawg Bones
  • CMR said he is pulling for Rodney Garner to land the job at his alma mater. Problem is it was just a courtesy interview, even though Garner would be a great hire.
  • If he really wanted Garner to get the job Richt should do Garner a favor and elevate him to co-coordinator NOW. It would help the Dawgs and it would give him a better shot at Auburn's head job when it is vacant again in one and a half know.....after they hire their "Shula" to keep the seat warm while Lowder twiddles his thumbs.
  • Stacy Searels was jobbed. I dare you to find an assistant coach more deserving of the Broyles Award. He loses his All-SEC monster at LT before the season starts and continuously is having to reshuffle and retool his line throughout the season. Just when things are somewhat settled, another season-ending injury pops up and it's back to the drawing board. I don't mind letting the cat outta the bag.....I smell a shout-out. Small consolation I guess.........really small.
  • Speaking of getting hosed on the awards circuit, Moreno lost the Doak Walker to some kid in Iowa. I had to look up which conference Iowa plays in. I complained to Jenn and she asked if this Hawkeye had better numbers. You know.......I'm not sure I care. 
  • I guess Knowshon and Ringer can battle it out for second on January 1st.
  • And speaking of the Capital One Bowl, the Dawgs go into the reindeer games as a touchdown favorite. I haven't watched the Spartans play yet, but Javon Ringer is supposed to be a work horse. I guess as long as he isn't as good as Tebow, Coffee or anyone who touched the ball on offense for the rambling wreck....we may have a shot.
  • Ringer has said he envisions the "perfect" game to end his collegiate career. 25 for 200 and 3 TDs.
  • Of course he also said "Georgia has a tremendous defense." Proving he's either naive or drunk.
  • Running out of career options to steer Coach Paul Johnson towards, BDB is lowering itself to a good ol' smear campaign. Syracuse failed us, Wal-Mart isn't hiring greeters until after the it is time the truth came out. CPJ is a Dawg Killer, worthy of all the indignation of one Michael "Jailyard Hero" Vick.
  • Lastly, what the hell's a hawkeye?

Friday's Feedbag
  • Word outta Knoxville is that Lane Kiffin has not only passed the NCAA test that allows him to recruit players to become hillbillys. He also has passed his driver's test on the first try and can drive a car!
  • I've got some new stuff on this other site a friend directed me to, The Bleacher Report. As you're roaming around cyber space sometime, check it out.
  • There's a scenario out there that O'Leary is on the way out at Central Florida and that Charlie Strong would be a leading candidate.
  • If that plays out, it could leave Florida without either coordinator for the MNC game. Methinks Florida still wins by two touchdowns.
  • Took the girls to see Santa this week. Some three year old behind us tried to cut into our face time. Long story short...I think I'm ink'd onto the naughty list. So no eggnog for me!
  • Tech is the favorite to win the Eat 'mor Chikin Bowl. Although I'm sure LSU will show up and dress out, Tech may have this one in the bag well before people start putting on those New Year's party hats. The Tiger defense has done nothing but disappoint all season. Johnson wins a big one on the GA Dome floor, only strengthening his ties to Vick.
Have a great weekend BDB reader! I wish you all good parking spaces and recession style prices on what is to be a merry shopping weekend. Me....I'll be safe at home relentlessly punching buttons on my remote control. Yes, the honey-do list is shortened. I managed to fix the gas logs last weekend. With my cold-natured and circulatory challenged wife, that should buy me another week and a half.

Trivia this week embraces the spirit of the season with the holiday for the rest of us. The reader with the best explanation of the origins of Festivus wins an aluminum pole that requires no decoration. In the words of Frank Costanza, "I find tinsel distracting." 

And always remember loyal readers, Festivus Yes!, Bagels NO!


Monday, December 8, 2008

Wilson is good........

.....but Tebow is a legend.

Turns out the only thing that kept Alabama from yet another SEC championship was a decision a teenager made some 3 years ago. The Crimson Tide stood toe to toe with the best team in the country and absorbed blow after blow with counter-punch after counter-punch. It was a game you could sense was being taped for replay as an instant classic. The drama was thick. The star players lined each sideline hoping to build upon already impressive resumes that would rest comfortably in the hands of most NFL GMs.

And as the third quarter came to a close, I felt pretty good about my Friday prediction. Tebow had touched the ball less often than a Gatorade cup since halftime and Coffee was well on his way to MVP type numbers.

But as a senior in high school Tim Tebow chose sunny Florida over Titletown Tuscaloosa without even really realizing that his decision would be the difference in the SEC title game three years later. Saturday night he welcome the game unto his shoulders and may have established himself as the first repeat Heisman winner since ol' Archie. (AP photo, John Bazemore) 

Make no mistake about it. Bama played well enough to win. Their game plan was sound. They set up the play-action early. And they avoided 
getting down by too much early. Even after Florida scored the first touchdown in seemingly effortless fashion, Bama didn't budge. They steadied themselves like any tremendous pachyderm would. Then took two giNORMous steps towards the opposite end zone and balanced the scoreboard in less than a minute.

In the end, Tebow was the quite certainly the difference. As good as John Parker Wilson is and as good as the Crimson Tide has been this season, Tim Tebow is just too good and the Florida Gators too fast, well coached and determined to lose this game.

And now the national sports media turns its attention to the BCS big 'un. The finale in Miami. The game for the Mythical Nat'l Championship.

All season the pundits have ruled the SEC inferior to the Big XII. The midwest major conference just had too many star QBs and too many prolific offenses. Well, we're gonna see aren't we. I still subscribe to the theory that offense sells seats and defense wins championships. 

There's no question that the two teams from Oklahoma and the two from Texas (no....not Baylor) are well oiled point scoring machine. And I understand the argument that the SEC defensive numbers may be deceiving given the lack of talented QBs in the conference this season. But historically the SEC is faster and more dominating on defense than their counterparts in other conferences. Florida's defense was gashed Saturday night, but is far improved from last season's trial by fire. They'll go against Oklahoma's high powered offense. Last team with the ball may hoist the trophy.

  • Bob Stoops for whining his way into the voters' mind and then coaching his team into the MNC game. The BCS creates the system, this coach knows how to work it.
  • Plaxico Burress. Some playahs use their mouth to shoot themselves in the foot; this killa uses a glock.....and "aims" higher.
  • Ainsley for tearing up Math Blasters, her math learning game on the computer. As she says, "It's like stealing candy from a baby!"
  • My cousins Kate and Alex, both East Carolina students. They take out Tulsa Pirate Style for the CUSA Championship. 
  • And Conner for surviving her first viewing of Ol' Yeller. You're my girl!

Monday's leftovers
  • I watched a few minutes of the ACC Championship game in Tampa. Did they sell ANY tickets to that game? I know a yankee team from Boston and another team from the hills of Virginia were the contestants. But it had to be embarrassing for ACC officials to see so many empty seats.
  • Meanwhile the Georgia Dome ruckus could be heard from well outside the perimeter. Turns out a pair of jorts and a houndstooth hat go pretty well together. At least the Atlanta Chamber of Commerce thinks so.
  • Coaching updates: Tommy Tuberville played golf this weekend after purchasing roughly 200 billion acres of real estate in Alabama and Mississippi. Oh, and a new fishing pole. Sylvester Croom refused opportunities to throw his former employer under the bus. And Phulmer relaxed a bit and only visited three buffets over the weekend.
  • The magicJack St. Petersburg Bowl is one of the games on the slate for December 20th, opening day for Bowl Season. I had heard of St. Petersburg (the one in FL and the one in Russia) but was curious about magicJack. Well...try it! Risk free. Call me.
  • Have you taken a look at the Bowl Schedule yet? It reads almost like a NASDAQ stock report. You start in mid-December with some start up stocks that aren't well recognized and then it grows into powerful tech stocks that are household name brands like the Chick-Fil-A and the Tostitos.
  • What about the Dawgs you ask? As expected, Stafford and Moreno will be parlaying their final collegiate game with the heavy promotional machine that once was the Citrus Bowl. Word out of East Lansing.......Dantonio is using the holidays to implement the triple option.
  • On Friday BDB wondered if Coach Garner would get a chance at D coordinator at Auburn once a coach was named. Well, yesterday he interviewed for the head job. Hard to believe he would land the gig without even any coordinator experience. But they could do a LOT worse on the plains.
  • And another coaching update: GA Tech follower Miranda was able to confirm for Bernie's Dawg Blawg that Coach Johnson will NOT be moving to Syracuse. But the Tech alum has not been able to unsubstantiate rumors that his coach is leaving Tech after the bowl game to accept a position as a Wal-Mart greeter. Any heavily recruited teenagers who happen to read this should NOT, I repeat....NOT...let this rumor affect their decision in any way.
  • And yes. Once Johnson is officially hired by the retail giant, I will immediately fax Coach Willie's resume over.
This weekend's Mall Santa Special: two tickets to next year's Bernie's Dawg Blawg OldCrow and HamDog Bowl. Coming to a back yard near you.

And the trivia winner from Friday is.........Bernie! It took him the entire season to stump Nama, Cord, Jenn, Allen and others. But he did it. Turns out he should have abandoned the medium of choice (internet) and used the BDB preferred medium (sports talk radio) earlier. The answer is a newcomer to 680theFan, but an old voice on Atlanta radio waves, Chuck Oliver. When news broke of Tuberville's exit in Auburn, some callers and co-hosts kidded Oliver about Petrino being their new guy. Oliver played nice until enough was enough. Then he let listeners know exactly how he felt about the Falcons coaching seat warmer. And that was your Sports Talk Radio Quote of the Week.

BDB rules specifically frown upon an employee taking any prize as a result of a contest or otherwise. When contacted at home late Sunday evening and informed of the "lawyereze", Bernie replied, "Sue me!"

Here's to you Bernie. Everyone else - steer clear of mall Santas that smell of whisky, have fake beards that are askew and have torn ponchos.


PS - if someone with a key happens near the suspension desk, please let Miranda out. I think he has a date for Saturday night. Hate for him to miss it.