Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Sanford Saturday Withdrawals...and other ways to survive the off-season

The season is a month and a half into the books.

National Signing Day came and went.

So...what do we do now...??

Over 200 days until toe meets leather in Stillwater. That is much too long to twiddle ones thumbs and probably not long enough to complete the wife's to-do or else list.

Bernie feels ya. Below you'll find a carefully constructed guide for surviving the off season. (trademark pending)

  1. Re-introduce yourself to your wife and/or other significant others. Assuming they are still around, take a moment to convey your appreciation that they understand their place in your priority pecking order.
  2. With Mat Drills well under way, why not take the opportunity to make Coach Van Halanger proud of you as well. Join your local gym. Or kick it old school and follow Herschel's body sculpting 2 trillion sit-ups and push-ups a day. (Results will vary.)
  3. Give the Diamond Dawgs a swing. They went deep at Omaha last season, but came up just shy of the warning track. So they are looking for a return trip this June. And what better way to spend a spring afternoon than listening to the clank! of aluminum?
  4. Speaking of sports other than football, spring has to be considered Dawg time in the NCAA. With Yoculan's GymDogs making another run at a NCAA title and Diaz's netters doing the same, there are few programs in the nation as successful as Georgia.
  5. If professional sports are more your style, then start a weekly chat to discuss the latest MLB players who have been outted as cream users. Or chart the NBA players who have the largest collection of tatts. Bonus points for cross-referencing the two.
  6. G-Day game. It is set for April 11th. Great opportunity to catch a first hand look at the competition at RB, DB and to be Joe Cox's backup. Any DE who is healthy is likely to get plenty of playing time and Coach Searels will be trying on his new hat. As a bonus, if you are a Bulldog in Exhile you can watch the game on the mutha.
  7. Start working on the menus for the upcoming season's tailgates. Westerdawg has his predictions for the '09 TV schedule if you want to prognosticate as to which games will be more heavy hors d'ourves and which will be more sit down and get greasy!
  8. Read a book. Maybe two. Might I suggest Herschel Walker's Breaking Free or anything by Lewis Grizzard. That way you still get small doses of Georgia football without the risks of gluttonous over-indulgence.
  9. Spend an afternoon going through the closets in your house to make sure that no garment, umbrella or other incidental colored orange didn't slip by you while you were playing cornhole, drinking bourbon and barking like a Dawg.
  10. Speaking of orange, spend an hour or two a day on the HillBilly message boards disguised as an overall'd toothless wonder supporting the new head squealer. IMO - the longer KiffyBaby sticks around the better.
  11. And speaking of could provide your assistance to the basketball coaching search. Start a petition around campus to demand that Bobby Knight be interviewed...oh wait...someone's ahead of you there. Maybe you could start one for Ron Jirsa.
  12. Follow hockey. It's fast, physical and fighting is part of the game. Sure, it can be hard to follow at first. But if you can coordinate a ten hour tailgate before a night game you can spare a few brain cells towards understanding the art of fore-checking. And if the play of the Atlanta Thrashers doesn't inspire you, check out the Gwinnett Gladiators.
  13. Take up a new hobby. Something like mountain climbing or scuba diving would be refreshing. Sofa surfing while collecting cheese doodle dust on your t-shirt would be easier to master. Pace yourself and always use caution.
  14. Do daily drive-bys (the casual kind, of course) of Sanford Stadium to tide you over until the chickens visit in September. Remember when Greene and Co. made Saban look like an average Chan Gailey? Remember when the Cowboys came to town back in '05 with their much ballyhooed offense and the Dawgs but the beat down on them and the horse they rode in on? Good times... Just make sure not to interfere with authorized traffic.
  15. And if all else fails, invest in a PlayStation and use the off-season to beat the living snot out of Tebow at least once a day. Yeh! How's that timeout feel Slurban?
Hope you find this helpful reader. If any of them work for you, please let me know.

I'm bored to tears.


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