Friday, March 20, 2009

Who Left this Soap Box Sitting Here?

If you're not in the mood for adult swim, better come back later...

I'll start off by saying the report hasn't been confirmed by Miami police, but multiple news outlets are reporting Cleveland Browns receiver Donte Stallworth was more than a six-pack past a buzz when his moving vehicle ended the life of a local pedestrian. 

Mario Reyes was on his way home from work last Saturday 7am. Shortly after he clocked out, his coworkers heard the sounds of the impact. By the time they reached the scene, Reyes lay in the street unconscious.

Stallworth's toxicology reports were expected Friday. Miami police did not plan on releasing the details until after any arrest was made.

The arrest is imminent. Stallworth will turn in his jersey for a jumpsuit...almost certainly. Just as assuredly, Reyes leaves behind family and friends wishing Stallworth had acted his age... and his wealth.

Catalina had been married for 20 years, now is a widow. Daniela had a father, now she does not.

When I was 18 I went to a party and around midnight decided it was best that I sleep on a sofa instead of my own bed. The next morning I went home and eventually my alibi fell through. I paid a consequence, but no one lost their life.

All in all, still a win-win.

I plan on winning the lottery next week. When I do there will be quite the celebration. Anyone who's reading this right now will be invited. But one additional detail before I leave for the evening...I'll hire someone to drive me home. Therefore saving my Bentley's detailer the trouble of those pesky blood stains.

And also saving any pedestrian's family the trouble of an unwanted funeral.


Sports Dawg said...

Well said!

MikeInValdosta said...

I would normally take this opportunity to hammer on the knoxville trend.

Sure we have had some problems with our players after leaving Athens (Thurman, Sullivan, maybe even Grant) but overall, I believe Coach Richt instills some maroale base in these young men.

CMR takes a lot of grief for the police blotter and internal discipline, but he doesn't give up on young men and he cannot have an effect if he punts them.

I am not saying Fulmer is a bad guy, but I do tend to think he had that Jimmy Johnson rule, special players have special rules. Unfortunately, this does a horrible job of preparing young men to handle millions of dollars and loads of free time.

Bernie said...

Special rules, special players...

When your punter goes so far as to CONTINUOUSLY have a six-pack in his glove's time for some introspection.

Agree on CMR though. He takes a lot of undue grief for his players making some dumb decisions. I had a couple mild "run-ins" with the UGA cops, but never made the front page of the R&B.

To sum up: CMR = good guy, PhatPhil...Urbie...SpuckFurrier... KiffyBaby... others I'm drawing a blank on...are satan's spawn.

Anonymous said...

I don't think its fair that Coach Richt punishes these kids swiftly for the bad deeds and yet the media still gives him crap about it. It doesn't matter what game is ahead of him whether it be LSU or Georgia Southern; and yet he still gets cracked on by the media for the players misdeeds despite their suspensions. You would think he never punished them by the way media tells it.

This past season South Carolina RB Mike Davis got caught breaking into a fridge(teammates or it was off limits or something). Spurrier suspended him for a game but instead of making him sit out the very next game(Georgia) he picked the game (something like Coastal Carolina) he sat out. Nobody complained about that! Yet Mark Richt swiftly punishes his players and he is the bad guy? What Gives?

Its true that Georgia had a few behavior issues this past season. Nobody is denying that but they were all handled quickly with punishments.

Most of the misdeeds were just kids getting drunk. Nobody died and Nobody got hurt. The ones that evolved more were promptly kicked off the team (Hill, Baldwin, Lemon). Nobody fired off an Ak-47 from a school parking lot(Florida, Ronnie Wilson) or dealt coke from the trunk of their car(Bama, some back up QB that Saban promptly kicked off the team) or in GT's case had 77 pounds of mary jane in their dorm room(Rueben Houston) who they let back on the team!
Why is Richt and Georgia getting shit on for their offenses but for everybody else no one says a word?

Bernie said...

I don't have a definitive answer for that either. The best I can surmise is that here locally that kind of press sells papers...or generates clicks...