Friday, April 24, 2009

It's Easy to Get Yourself in Quite a Pickle...

...when it's your surname.

Before I go spoutin' off big time phrases like civil disobedience and wrong-headed, I tend to use resources like the dictionary or thesaurus on my desk. If those don't work I just ask Jenn.

Honey, what's a synogomy for bark? I think you mean synonym (sweetheart). Try woof!

You may remember last week when the AJCs Carvellurged CMR to attend signee Chris Burnette's graduation speech. One development this week is that Burnette fell just short of being named his class' valedictorian. Another development was that an NCAA jackhole decided to open his orifice.

David Pickle is the NCAA's managing director of publishing. Which is to say he's about as important in NCAA land as the guy who bagged my groceries today is to my supermarket. Mr. Vlasic didn't like a writer urging a head coach to violate NCAA rules. To be fair though, it's hard to realize the governing body you work for has rules as dumb as doughnuts when your last name is Pickle.

And seriously...civil disobedience? Wrong-headed

Paging Mr. Pickle. We need all baggers to the front. All baggers to the front please!

Friday Feedbag
  • My favorite posts of the week both come from the Senator's desk yesterday. First he warns us about a potential wardrobe malfunction while seated in Sanford. And secondly, he just reminds us that we had been warned.
  • After a quarter century, Exhile's found someone that can adequately explain Star Wars as well as remind us why it's important to hug your kids as often as possible.
  • Draft day is tomorrow. Stafford and the Lions seem really serious about each other. Meanwhile, Andrew Miller of BullDawg Illustrated has one final look at Knowshon before he's drafted out of a red and black uniform. Speaking of 24, The Telegraph's own David Hale was on hand for all the tweetosphere as the former Dawg addressed a gathering in New Jersey. (UPDATE: link to the Video Blog. That's a sharp lookin' shirt.)
  • While some all stars enjoy the glitz and glamour of being selected on a Saturday, others will be hunkered down all weekend amidst friends and family.
  • Bernie took a little time this week to plug for an upcoming event that is near and dear. If you missed it, CLICK HERE.
  • Of course he also took the time to take in a game at Foley, where the Diamond Dawgshad better luck at home against Kennesaw State than they did on the road against Jacksonville State. The road trip continues today in Oxford. Hopefully the woes have not followed them there.
  • The subtle nuances of a vodka cranberry may be lost on TotalUGAs Brett Jensen, but the man has the dish on some early recruiting news for the Dawgs in '10; both in the backfield and in the trenches
  • BJ Coleman is leaving Rocky Flop because he feels pressured constantly by Coach O to take his shirt off. Reached late Thursday evening Coleman explained his decision to Bernie: "At first it was kinda funny that Ol' Man Kiffin kept forcing me to take drafts from his moonshine jug. But Orgee refused to take no for an answer. I began to suspect there were no longjohns under those overalls either."
  • Bernie took it one step further and asked KiffyBaby why Coleman was buried so deep on the depth chart this spring despite the better passing numbers. After a  l o n g  and awkward silence only interrupted by swigs from his sippy cup,junior ignoramus piped up: "Crompton good. Daddy like."
  • You spilled a little there kid.
Lastly and most importantly, congrats to Burnette for the classroom achievements. Fess up Reader, the closest you an I came to Valedictorian was the near fender bender in the parking lot before the ceremony.

And I'm glad Richt has applied for the waiver. I mean why forego breathing through your nose just because you're surrounded by a bunch of knuckle-dragging compliance freaks? While folks at the NCAA like Pickle are busy wiping the drool from their chins, Richt can be making a young man's special day even more...specialer.

Is that right honey? Specialer?



Anonymous said...

Dear Bernie,

Could you please introduce me to Mr. Pickle. Then we can marry, and I will hypenate my last name.


Elizabeth Dill

Bernie said...

Sure thing Elizabeth. Soon as ...I...get...this... %$!#@... jar open!