Thursday, May 14, 2009

There's No "I" in TEAM...

...but there's a lot of MEyer.

Slurban sits atop the mountain many active coaches have yet to crest. He's won two MNCs since travelling from Utah to sunny Florida. He has a Heisman Trophy winning QB returning for his senior year center. He has yet to buy his own meal in gatorsville.

So why the scowl? Somebody keeps using his cheerio bowl as a urinal and Corch Meyer don't like the taste.
I say keep pissin'. He'll get over it or get outta town.

The ego of this guy. He never played a down in the swamp. Or smiled at seeing a crap-faced, mullet-headed, jort-wearin' "alum" scream himself out of the wife beater he was wearing. 

Shane Matthews did play in the swamp. He was a rock star quarterback for the Visor's Fun N Gun. And he once sported a hair-do that was a little bidness in the front and a little party in the back. He's a gator through and through. 

More importantly he's a radio jock. He's paid to give opinions whether they meet with Captain Crotchedy's approval or not. 

Meyer...not necessarily a gator at heart.

Perhaps Senator Blutarsky found the best analogy for the ego that is Corch Meyer. This blawgger thinks it is all part of a master plan:

Slurban sits behind his desk with his bright orange kicks resting atop his desk and his fingers placed delicately together, tip to tip. He's got all the pieces of the evil puzzle strewn about the swampland. Easy skedYule. Senior signal caller. Local cops on the payroll. GatorNation dichotomized into those who love him like an 18 foot reptile...and those who were not successfully peabrain-washed.

In his mind all he has to do is place the pieces together, show up to New York and watch TeeeBOW collect another trophy, run away with another MNC over runner-up Ohio State and then cry foul! 

Shame on you morons for not worshipping me! I've done nothing but givegivegive. I'm outta here!

Lastly, secure plane ticket to South Bend.

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