Friday, May 8, 2009

Word to Ya Mutha


Happy Mother's Day Weekend BDB Peeps! We're gonna turn this mutha out quick so that you loafers can get back to planning your special lady's day. Just be careful not to take a nap while the Sunday dinner is on the grill...or you may end up at a KFC drive-thru.

Today's blawg is chock full of little treasures. To be quite honest, it's carefully crafted and delicately designed. That's right - for your convenience, I've added numerous subliminal messages in today's post. All aimed at giving you loser sons and deadbeat dads a clue as to what you should be out buying instead of reading this drivel.


Moms are special. They survived three weeks of pain-staking labor to pop your lazy rear end out and never made you feel guilty because of it. It's time to show some love and give a little back.

If there's one thing the moms in my life taught me the value of, it was to leave well enough alone. Was reading me some AllJackCrap recently and discovered some commenter named "Joe" has a hankering to tinker. 

I don't know who you are kid, but just because your mom spent more time chain smoking Pall Malls in front of All My Children instead of shoveling homebaked cookies into your fat trap doesn't mean there's anything wrong with the SEC - at all! But evidently Barnhart was intrigued enough with Joe's blathering that he posed the question.

Should the SEC abandon the 5-1-2 scheduling format and tinker with its masterpiece?

As I read the piece, I could hear my grandmothers screaming.....LEAVE WELL ENOUGH ALONE [BERNIE].....AND WIPE YOUR FACE OFF, YOU'VE GOT CHOCOLATE CHIP SMUDGES ALL OVER IT! 

At a kid I didn't realize they were such big fans of the Georgia-Auburn rivalry. And I'm sure they didn't realize "Joe Commenter" was such a tool. 

As for the scheduling question - I'm for whatever format lands me in Stark'dVille the least.

Friday Feedbag
  • What damn business is it of ours if Manny Ramirez wanted to give birth to his own biological child instead of adopt? And the least MLB could do is give the guy more than 50 days off to try and conceive. I thought pro baseball was more family oriented...
  • The Roanoke Times has reported that VA Tech assistant coach Stacy Palmore is leaving the program to round out Coach Fox's staff in Athens (H/T Hale).
  • From Butts-Mehre to Macon to Columbus.....mum's the word.
  • What better way to show your Mum you love her than to plop in front of the TV Sunday afternoon at 2pm and watch the GymDogs' defense of their Nat'l Title? ...or just set your DVR.
  • The best news of the week is summed up like this: Georgia SMART, Tech DUMB. At least the way I read it..... I guess Felton could out-coach in some aspects. You know, the same way my mom can out-manage Dave Braine when it comes to running an athletic program.
  • Streit's second installment of his weekly series is up. If you're not sold by the possible Rose Bowl preview, just hang on 'til the end.
  • Back 'tween the hedges, the issue of which RB steps up to gain the most carries this fall is as up in the air as a balloon filled with hot air. Meanwhile, the guys blocking up front remains nearly as unsettled...but in a good way. Weiszer takes a look at the depth, talent and experience at the Dawgs' position of strength. 
  • After four days off, the Diamond (in case you hit the Mega Millions tonight) Dawgs return to the field this weekend against Vandy. This is the final homestand of the season and tickets are still available. And while BDB is pushing ticket purchases, they are also still available for the game against NATS at Turner Field Tuesday. Granted the game is not nearly as sexy as it seemed a couple weeks ago...but I REALLY don't want to end up there with a buncha engineers just to hear my BARK! echo off the center field wall.
  • Battle Hymn Notes has a great preview of July's SEC Media Days. When the schedule was released this week I'll admit I was hoping to see Lil' Kiff paired with Corch Meyer, the Visor and the Sabanator. But after reading the post, I'm just as intrigued.
  • I've been trying to curb my YouTube addiction recently...and I can't stand Jim Rome, but was glad to see this post by Cousin Walter. I concur....Karma can be a bitch.
  • If you're like me and missed the first time around with the Senator's discussion of that political hot button issue, the BCS...the weekend is a good time to catch up.
  • And lastly, I know it's Mother's Day weekend and all, but found this great post at DadCentric. It works for both moms and dads alike...as long as they have at least one girl and are in possession of or in the market for a gun.


Speaking of my Smith & Wesson, I may be looking down the barrel of it if I don't find these damn earrings Jenn wants for Mother's Day. If she's given you any hints Reader of where they might be, hit me up with your knowledge. Otherwise I might have to cook a full meal instead of just picking up that bucket of extra crispy I ordered from KFC.

And in honor of my own dear Mama, I'd like to clear up a 25 year old family mystery. Although sometimes I get surprised by an overseas visitor here at BDB's corner of the internets, I'm pretty sure it doesn't reach ALL the way out to Hawaii (or as my Anma would say - HaWhyYah) where my brother breaks up the boredom of being a surfer dude with some art teaching. So I'm confident that this confession will go uncontested...

Mom - it was Jeff that broke that friggin' lamp. He paid me $10 to put it back together with SuperGlue in a way that would buy us almost two weeks before you or Dad would notice.

Wow! That feels better. Two and a half decades of waterboarding was a plenty! 

Make your mom's day Reader. Confess something. Just don't make it awkward. Might spoil the dessert conversation.


Bernie


9 comments:

Bernie's Mom said...

CONFESSION may be good for the soul, but I still think YOU broke that lamp. No, don't know where the earrings are to be found - did you ask Conner to help you figure it out?

YOUR MAMA

Bernie said...

Ouch! Did you not get my card yet Mom? You know all you're gonna get from the other son is a phone call that has a 79% chance of being collect.

And yes, Conner was my first stop. I told her this was her responsibility this week, but she just says she's too bogged down in three digit addition and pronoun recognition to shop.

Jeesh! The work they give to 1st graders these days.

Anonymous said...

To Bernie's Mom:
If it makes you feel any better, Jeff broke a lamp at our house, too. At least that is the word from Illinois to Southeast Georgia.
Happy Mother's Day.

Bernie said...

Well put Exhile.

(check's in the snail mail)

Mike In Valdosta said...

If we are going to "tinker", let's go back to the 5-2-1.

Lucky for me, I get credit for being a sensive-postmod-antebellum every time I watch the GymDawgs. I do not bother with the word oxymoron, for I know she means well.

As to your S&W, I have 3 daughters and am in need of a contractor to build 4 gun turrets and provide a quote on a mote.

Happy Mama's Day!

Bernie said...

Mike - Oxford is a GREAT place to visit every other year. Lots of sundresses and I think there was even a football game. I'll take that over more trips to Tuscaloosie. But like I said, the priority would be less trips to Stark'dVille.

Enjoy the GymDogs replay and keep me posted on the gun turrets. I have a feeling I'm right behind you.

Bernie's Mom said...

By the way, I haven't gotten that card - just the one from my dear, sweet (alot like their mother and grandmothers) granddaughters. Little Jeff was 4 and didn't have 10 dollars! And even if he doesn't call, he'll be thinking about me!!!
Your Mama

Bernie's Mom said...

Got your card today - YOU'RE NUMBER ONE - maybe it was Jeff . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Love ya

Mom

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