Monday, June 29, 2009

Monday's Meatloaf - Death of a Pitchman

Ed McMahon was really old. Farrah's passing was sad. Jacko, eerily expected.

But it's gonna take me a while to get over Billy Mays' passing. Anybody can sit to Carson's right and collect fat paychecks ready to be pissed away. Thriller kicked ass, the rest of Michelle's work was crap.

But it takes a man to pimp OxyClean and Mighty Putty.

Seriously, the passing of Billy Mays hit me hard. About two weeks ago Joe Waterloo got me hooked on Discovery Channel's Pitchmen. Great surely up for cancellation. One minute you're watching Billy unload a thousand insects onto a windshield through something resembling a SAM launcher...the next, you're realizing just how fleeting life can be.

Do yourself a favor and beg your DVR to record every possible episode before it ends. You'll thank me just as much as Jesus is thanking Mays now for getting that pesky wine stain out of his tunic.

When I get there, I just hope Farrah still has that red one-piece.

Today's Ingredients
  • Dawg news might be as slow as still water (that stuff just writes itself), but a really big recruit dropped into the fold over the weekend. CMR has handed the state's biggest prospect a red and black pen and Alec Ogletree says he will use it. I may not have been all over it like white on rice, but I wuz like butter.
  • Weiszer's going on vacay, but left any Dawg fan wondering about young receivers a lot to pore over. Everyone from Marlon Brown to Arthur Lynch are impressing the older players.
  • If you woke up late Sunday morning, you may have missed the latest installment of the Senator's Kiffin Watch. I'll agree that it don't take much to get Coach Rich Brooks' lather up...but he ain't just whistling Dixie, you know?
  • Meanwhile in Knutsville, KiffyBaby is pleased with how his older players are handling the young vollies. Maybe one of them can having a Recruiting 101 seminar for the witless wonder.
  • Another great stop in the blogdom...Battle Hymn Notes' look at the SECs inexperience on offense. Turns out Tebow's not only padding the stats of third world nations' circumsized male population, he's also padding the stats for the SECs starting QBs.
  • With all these night games getting on the skedYule...wouldn't it be nice to have a place near Sanford to crash after we kick Spurrier's tail?
  • No word yet if Mackie survived Savannah, but he did leave us with an Arizona State preview.
  • And remember Tra Battle beating Awwburn single handedly? Bubba n' Earl do.

In the words of Alan Ashley, tough week to be a celeb. We watched Ed pal around with Johnny and Doc. We watched Jill Munroe do whatever Charlie wanted. We waited with bated breath for MTV to air Thriller, only to freak out a little when newly renovated Michael flashed those werewolf eyes.

Then Billy goes quietly into the good night. Suddenly we're without a pitch, a thrill, wavy blonde hair and a Publisher's promise at millions.

It may seem bleak Reader, but stand fast. I have a new hero...Walt Kowalski from Gran Torino. I wanna grow up to be just like know, without all the latent racial hostility.

The way I see it, at 79 years old...the view from my front porch next to a cooler of cold PBR and a .38 Special should be quite refreshing.

Feel free to visit. Just don't bring any Sham-Wows. Only Zorbeez and KaBoom!

Have a good lunch Reader. Here's your fork.



Alan Ashley said...

I'm famous now, I have been quoted by Bernie. Thanks for the shout out.

Bernie said...

I wouldn't recommend using it as a resume builder...unless you wanna pull a George O'Leary.

Mackie said...

Barely survived Savannah. I got thrown out of a bar, watched the Groom-to-be get the holy hell beat out of him by a stripper, and played golf so hungover we changed the back 9 to "best ball" so we'd finish the game in under six hours.

All while staying out of jail and under budget.

...light posting today.

Bernie said...

Except for the under budget part, sounds like a typical bachelor frenzy. Since you're back and relatively in one piece...guess I'm off the hook for singing Sister Christian...

wsmitheGH said...

RIP Billy!

Georgia Football home rentals at!