If you're a northerner...bless your heart. (And if you're a southerner, you know what I meant by that.)
An actual one from Meecheegan, overheard on the beach talking on her cell phone last week: Edith! You won't believe it...we spent 2 grand on the condo and now they're closing the beach....THERE'S SHARKS! Unbeleeeeveable I tell ya.
Gag me with a snowshoe.
There should be a penalty for yelling SHARK! when it's just a dolphin. Makes me appreciate the fact that Grizzard survived the great white north those scant years. If you live amongst denizens that can't tell the difference between a dolphin and shark, what chance is there that they can tell the difference between a 4.4/40 and...Ron Dayne?
So on more than one occasion I just had to leave Nanook the Frozen to fend off the fins to the left...and fins to the right with just their mukluks and the Hilton Head permafrost, to take a dip in the pool. Luckily, that only brought me closer to Buddy the seaside bartender.
And for some reason he was always out of soda pop.
Your Ingredients for Today:
- Summer's here, whether it's official or not. And you know what that means?...even more ads with that creepy Six Flags dancing old man.
- After picking up a BIG commit this week from a top state WR prospect, the Dawgs are holding out hope for another WR from Tulsa.
- Joe has always had a keen eye for research, and he sends this link in from College Football News that remarks favorably on CMRs program, as well as UGAs campus and Athens as a whole. Ol' Joe and I should know a thing or two about UGA co-eds having bedazzled a couple of them long enough to shove a ring on their finger.
- Weiszer's hedge clippings.
- Despite being drafted in last week's MLB draft, the great Hale has obviously decided to stick with his gig at the Macon Telegraph. Here's an outlook for the 2009 season. And here's an apt comparison of an apple and...a nut.
- After a torrid season that ended like a splattered bug on the windshield of a big motorhome with a Utah license plate, Bama IS BACK!!
- Are you a dad? Looking for something to do Saturday morning before devoting a few hours to BethPage? Join me (oh! and also Coach Richt) at the practice fields for Bulldogs Father and Kids Experience. I bet my five year girl can beat yours in skeleton drills.
- Lastly, Title IX (and the ladies who read BDB) require me to post a link to the story that UGA Athletics leads the SEC in gender equity.
Hope Catherine Zeta-Jones is happy now. Maybe she'll return my phone call.
So it is with renewed enthusiasm and vigor that I head back to normal life. I'm sure the office inbox is chock full of goodies. Fortunately it's right next to the trashcan.
It could always be worse though...I could be a lifeguard on Hilton Head Island armed with only a whistle amid a sea of wannabe Jacques Cousteaus. One minute you're just a few minutes away from your lunch break, the next you're telling every dimwit within earshot to get out of the water.
Sounds like a good time for a cheeseburger in paradise. Or a heaping helping of meatloaf. Take a dolphin sized bite Reader....and enjoy!
Nanook and Edith's friend...well, as dear ol' Grizzard would say...Delta's ready when you are.