Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Live from Hoover!!

SEC Media Days are under way. It's the three days in college football when the rest of the posers stand by in awe of our fat-ass wallets and penchant for pizzazz. There are over a thousand media writers in Alabama all wondering the same thing: why can't this big time conference have the shindig in the 20th century?

Meanwhile the Athletically Challenged Conference will have almost enough writers at their Media Days to field a hockey team.

Very proud to announce that my modest blawg has scrapped together enough coin to hire a freelance writer to cover the event for you Reader. I interviewed two mostly qualified candidates and am pleased to introduce you to Willard. He can't spell a lick, but he didn't want $25 per diem like the other guy.

Plus he knew that you didn't have to spend over $15 to get a decent suitcase of beer. Should fit right in here at BDB. Let's check in with him now.

Willard, how are things in Hoover?
Good Bernie. Lots of BBQ. Although I just remembered I forgot to pack the TUMS.
Well...ok. What has been the story of the day?
Big one there boss - someone evidently didn't vote for Danny Wuerffel and no one can figger out who. mean Slurban's Shotgun Slut, Crocodile Tears Teblow. Wuerffel graduated over a decade ago. Well, lots of coaching changes this season. Have you lined up any interviews for our Reader?
Yessirree. Got the guy everyone is wanting to talk to, new South Carolina O-line coach Eric Wolford.
Willard! No one cares about the O-line in Chickumbia! Plus I didn't think SC was on tap until Friday. Is Spurrier even bringing this guy Wolford?
I'll check on that right after the breakfast buffet tomorrow boss. Gotta run..those Orlando-Sentinel guys are gettin' into my beer...

Ok, thanks Willard. We'll check back in tomorrow as the big boys roll into town.

Well Reader. Don't know that it'll be what I envisioned, but it sounds like our coverage of Media Days will be interesting. For a more (AHEM!!) accurate wrapup, try Hale.


MikeInValdosta said...

what to say... what to say

I though Wuerffel meant I wasn't gonna have see the alphastring t e b o w, oh well, first blog without that string gets my subscription. Think I will try Macke

Bernie said...

Well, now that Willard is three plates and six beers into his evening routine...I guess there's no chance of confusing him further. I'll go back and change it.

When you go over to the Pantsless Guy's site, don't look down.