Friday, August 14, 2009

Sex, Lies...but no Videotape

In the '70s Simon and Garfunkel (emphasis on the funk right?) sang of 50 ways to leave your lover. Ben Burney has added a 51st.

[CORRECTION - props to C-Fisk...50 Ways was just a Simon song, sans Funk. Research staff has been docked some folding money. I'm keepin' the pic to the left tho. Cuz they look too cool.]

When his dorm alarm clock buzzes him awake for the beginning of fall practice in Boulder, Burney (no relation) is forced to leave behind whoever is laying in his bed. The dude gets sad. Real sad. Then uses the Athletic Office's blog space to relive the moment, shed a tear and!

Evidently the coaches were so emotionally drained after reading about Burney's heart-wrenching dawn escape, they pulled the plug on his creativity. Talk about a bad day!

So no longer will Colorado football fans be able to read about Buffaloes in the buff. I know Jeff Owens hasn't posted to his blog in a while, but I'm glad he's sticking to football. Leave the creative crap to the art majors...and the journalism department....(chuckle).

Friday Feedbag
  • CollegeFootballNews has the top offenses ranked for the upcoming season. Surprised the 'Pokes are #1? Not as surprised as when I found Cox's Crew was #6. Dancing in the Endzone has our full rankings if you don't wanna be subjected to the other teams' colors.
  • Barnhart has the top trap games in the SEC for the upcoming season. PWD sorts through it and picks some nits....albeit pretty good sized nits if you ask me.
  • Battle Hymn Notes is gettin' giddy over Orson.
  • Post of the week, month and the entire summer. Teh awesome!
  • Last week's news that video tape must roll from approved cameras when within the realm of SEC sports took a turn of silence in Butts-Mehre.
  • The Lady Sportswriter asks if this season should really be compared to 2005, the year of Shock! And speaking of DJ, Hale caught up with him in time to exert a little more man crush. Hello Envy, my name is Bernie.
  • While we're talking pro athletes, Staff brings his Lions to the ATL this weekend for some preseason NFL action. May tune in to see how he does. But I'll stick around to see how Shockley does as he battles to be a Ryan backup. No plans...wanna go? Click HERE.
  • DaugMan brings news that former Dawg Ben Watson is being challenged.
  • And which would the Pope have more of a problem with: that Pitino was involved in an abortion...or that he once had adulterous sex in a restaurant...on a table?

Hold the nacho platter. I'm good, thanks.

The record clearly reflects our announcement that ThursdaysRTrivial would air its 7th episode in primetime came in plenty of time for any convicted felonious dog killers to plan accordingly. For six episodes I've been juggling through work related crap, vacation twittering and even one episode that aired on the road.

Finally, the FCC gave the go ahead and I planned to lounge leisurely while the drama and excitement played out in Neon Deion time. At 8:32 tweet was sent. But at 8:31 @mortreport's blackberry went rabid.

In the end though, lucky 7 didn't relent. By a mere four minutes, @namaman edged out @Stuff_of_Legend for the fabulous prize...a year's worth of MilkBone Dog Biscuits. As a consolation, @Stuff_of_Legend takes home an autographed Ron Mexico AquaFina "water" bottle. And for buzzing in at just after 10:00, @uga009 gets a slightly used TV Guide.

You just can't trick these DamnGoodDawg fans. They all knew that the combined total of tackles between Curran, Dewberry, Dent and Gamble in Thursday's scrimmage was ZERO.

Tune in next week Reader, when we give the home fans the finger. 'Til then, keep your daughters away from winning basketball coaches dressed only in Italian leather loafers, Buffalo d-backs in the buff and (as usual) any asshat in a pair of 'jorts.

Good, Bad or Ugly...Have a Weekend!


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