Saturday, July 4, 2009

God Bless the USA

Hey Reader. Darren the Intern here. Bernie's out taking a casual jog along Peachtree before he spends some quality time with the family and the grill. As he was lacing up his kicks, he asked me to post a couple gems.

First, PapaBernie shares a video by Uncle Jay, who explains the news in his usual unique form.

And this one from AllProDad is sure to remind you of not just the sacrifices our servicemen and women make each day, but also the hardships endured by the families left behind. I'm quite sure a Jonas Brothers concert can't make up for over a year of missing your dad, but I bet Hannah Myers was smiling the whole time.

Welcome Home Master Sgt. Joseph Myers

It's a great country Reader. Now go out and eat your weight in grilled meat and set off some fireworks before you fall into a grill-induced stupor.

H A P P Y F O U R T H of J U L Y ! ! !

Friday, July 3, 2009

Jefferson Once Stumbled Down the Tracks...

...but he was a big machine in red, white and blue.

Before the Great Hale left on his next vacation (hey!...before he left he had worked a full 2.5 days) he gave us a look at Rantavious Wooten's
progress this summer. As I've said before, this is the guy I'm most anxious to see out of the '09 class.

I was especially glad to hear Michael Moore's evaluation of Wooten's route running. His frame's not gonna help him separate from defenders, so he'll have to count on sharp, crisp routes to create space. Says Moore:

Wooten's going to be a playmaker....He's fast, he's quick, he can catch the ball. He runs some of the best routes out here already as a young guy.

But it's the idea of this Dawg in the backfield that has me intrigued. I think it was PWD who once described him as "a street legal Percy Harvin." His quickness and versatility will create
problems aplenty.

If you haven't seen his moves, I'll give you another opportunity HERE to click. And my guess is the next time you see him will be on the field this red and black.

Friday Feedbag
  • Big shout-out to Nama for greasing the palms of the BDB Finance department. First beer in StillH2O is on me...hope they have NattyIce.
  • He might type sans pants, but he also hit a milestone before BDB. Mackie blew out some candles in a style all his own...
  • Been a LOT of recruiting news lately...this week was the commitment of Ken Malcome of SW Dekalb. I like the perspective Stuff of Legend takes with this guy. Very realistic and cuts through the fluff...
  • Senator Blutarsky takes on Sen. Orrin Hatch. One's right on point and one's preoccupied with spoon feeding delegates and having his name on print. If you can't tell the difference...well, this blawg's not for you. (If that's not enough to make you click over, Dog in Fla chimes in....)
  • Rex Robinson looks back reminiscently at "the tracks."
  • Countdown Watch: Streit keeps it short and sweet with #66, but hits the nail on the head. For today's count, check the blog roll to the right. And if you've never digested The Story of The Purloined Pig, do yourself a favor.

By one o'clock yesterday the excitement was at a fever-pitch. You could cut the tension with a chainsaw. Thursdays are Trivial debuted and turned the twittersphere on its ear.

The question was and the gauntlet was thrown down. At first he was afraid, he was petrified...but @BPMackie consulted the database in his well sauced brain and successfully transmitted the scores and years from both contests between Georgia and Michigan.

And that is why he is here right now with a mostly empty, slightly rusted wheelbarrow, ready to claim 200 lbs of homemade fireworks as his fabulous prize*. If you live next to this guy you may wanna make sure you're out of town this weekend.

@AlanAshley chimed in to add that both contests were in Ann Arbor due to the fact that carpetbaggers were not allowed to cross the Mason Dixon line until 1972. He takes away a Bic ball point pen used to write the Declaration of Independence. I stole it from Jefferson a few years back when he had too much tailgate before the AwwBarn game.

Have a great Fourth Reader! If your boss didn't give you the extra day, tell him I said you're good, and I am no one to be truffled with. Or something like that.


*fabulous prizes are fabulous in the eyes of the beholder, or in this case the blawgger. BDB not responsible for any bodily harm or property damages incurred during the enjoyment of said prizes.

Thursday, July 2, 2009

Wolverines in Crosshairs...??

Biggest thing out there left over from yesterday is the rumor of a possible trip to Ann Arbor to open 2010. If you missed out yesterday, you can catch up right here. Meecheegan opens the 2010 campaign with some brand new luxury boxes. They are looking for a big opponent to help cut the ribbon.

I would categorize this as a rumor with two left feet right now. But it is definitely intriguing given the dead period for news right now. And as you can see from that Wolverine flavored blog link'd above, there are a number of Dawg fans chiming in who are intrigued as well.

FYI - - the tentative 2010 schedule (h/t SicEmDawgs) has us opening at home against the Ragin' Cajuns. We have two spots to put the open date and the 12th opponent. Of the 11 games slated, only five are home including NONE during September if you take away Louisiana. October 2nd is the scheduled trip to beautiful Boulder.

Macon Telegraph's own David Hale has graced us with a defensive end feature. Rod Battle is tired of battling injuries and ready to battle opposing tackles. GATA!! Hale also lets us know that Teresa Edwards has been named to the US Olympic HOF.

Before we leave the d-end position though, over at TotalUGA- - Log Dawg brings a recruiting nugget from the Chattanooga area. Could CMR snatch a prospect from kidglove'd fingers of KiffyBaby?

Lastly, a new weekly feature. Are you a Twitterer? Are you following @BernieDawg? Do you love fabulous prizes and vacation getaways*? If so, tweet in each week for Thursday is Trivial. One question per Thursday, tweeted at varying times, answer must appear as a reply to avoid nasty twitter the one between @BernieDawg and @AlanAshley this week to see who could get @ChampBailey to follow them first.

Still not convinced to join twitter? Don't blame ya. Come back here Sunday for my personal strategies to make Twitter usable. You can learn from my mistakes and gain an upper hand on Dawggy style'd tweets.

*fabulous prizes and getaways is creative license, at least until a few advertising deals come through

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Smells Like PRE-Teen Spirit

Eric Berry is an All-SEC safety for the voWels and was a star recruit out of Creekside High in Fairburn, GA. Although he was heavily sought after by CMR and any other big-time program with a heartbeat, Eric chose to go where his dad went.

Good Ol' Rocky Flop!

The Mighty Fred texts in that Eric's brother has committed to play tackle football in Knutsville.

"Yes, I committed to Tennessee," Evan said. "It's the only college I know right now and it seems the best for me. My dad went there and my brother is there now. I know I can do the same things there. I have a real friendly relationship with the coaches there. I know I don't know them too well, but I know I will have plenty of time to get to know them."

Evan Berry will also start eighth grade later this summer.

You read that right. In an effort to relate more to kids his own mental age, KiffyBaby is reaching into middle schools...where chicks dig the way you rock the Members Only and the cheeseburger tastes like rubber. He's still working on his times tables, but word is Laney is quite the star in 4th period PE (although records confirm he's been sent early to the locker room several times for "cutting corners" in four-square.)

Now to be fair, the story is being disputed, mostly by the dad. It seems the Rivals reporter went a bit too far, even promoted the kid to high school without the authority to do so. And given the fact that Evan (and twin brother Elliot) are not able to be offered a scholarship to commit to until they have registered with the NCAA Clearinghouse (usually during the junior year...of high school), it may stand to reason that the brand spanking new HillBilly coach has kept his distance from the pre-teen phenoms...

Then again, this is the guy who creates his own rules then claims to have a master plan. Evan is obviously SOLD! on the direction the overall'd program is heading under Layla's husband. And by the time the kid is actually able to commit, their defensive coordinator will almost be old enough to be the featured centenarian on the back of one of Willard Scott's Smucker's jars.

The younger Berry meanwhile is said to be down to two choices: it's either the navy blue JanSport backpack or the stylish brown messenger bag.

He still has over a month to decide...

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Smells Like Teen Spirit

CMR has landed another '10 commit in Ken Malcome of SW Dekalb. Malcome is a highly sought after RB with good size.

Hale's back from sun and fun and has a great post on that ever so popular off-season topic: off the field problems. Not surprisingly, Rennie's leading the way. And what is also becoming commonplace...the new #7 is on point:

"I didn't need somebody to get suspended to know that I'm going to step up to the challenge," freshman tight end Orson Charles said. "I have my own mind-set from the get-go that I just want to make everybody better around me. I just want to win."

Tru dat sir. Tru dat!

Also back at his bloggin desk, Mackie provides a link for some good-natured trash talk. He's cautiously optimistic the cowpokes' six shooters are only partially loaded. And if that doesn't get you to follow the link and post something on their board....well, I also heard them talk about your mama. You gonna sit there and let em do that? On the internets for ALL to see?

I didn't think so. Speaking of message boards, I gave a complaint to Jensen the other day about TotalUGA's wacked out look lately. He assures everyone that the site is just going through some updates and will be back up again by mid-week at the latest.

Well, I'm actually working I better get back to it. But also wanted to follow up on our favorite pitchman. Doctors are pretty sure it was an enlarged heart that sealed Billy's fate like a healthy dab of Magic Putty.

RIP Billy Mays. May your bunk be closer to Farrah's than Ed or Jacko's.

Monday, June 29, 2009

Monday's Meatloaf - Death of a Pitchman

Ed McMahon was really old. Farrah's passing was sad. Jacko, eerily expected.

But it's gonna take me a while to get over Billy Mays' passing. Anybody can sit to Carson's right and collect fat paychecks ready to be pissed away. Thriller kicked ass, the rest of Michelle's work was crap.

But it takes a man to pimp OxyClean and Mighty Putty.

Seriously, the passing of Billy Mays hit me hard. About two weeks ago Joe Waterloo got me hooked on Discovery Channel's Pitchmen. Great surely up for cancellation. One minute you're watching Billy unload a thousand insects onto a windshield through something resembling a SAM launcher...the next, you're realizing just how fleeting life can be.

Do yourself a favor and beg your DVR to record every possible episode before it ends. You'll thank me just as much as Jesus is thanking Mays now for getting that pesky wine stain out of his tunic.

When I get there, I just hope Farrah still has that red one-piece.

Today's Ingredients
  • Dawg news might be as slow as still water (that stuff just writes itself), but a really big recruit dropped into the fold over the weekend. CMR has handed the state's biggest prospect a red and black pen and Alec Ogletree says he will use it. I may not have been all over it like white on rice, but I wuz like butter.
  • Weiszer's going on vacay, but left any Dawg fan wondering about young receivers a lot to pore over. Everyone from Marlon Brown to Arthur Lynch are impressing the older players.
  • If you woke up late Sunday morning, you may have missed the latest installment of the Senator's Kiffin Watch. I'll agree that it don't take much to get Coach Rich Brooks' lather up...but he ain't just whistling Dixie, you know?
  • Meanwhile in Knutsville, KiffyBaby is pleased with how his older players are handling the young vollies. Maybe one of them can having a Recruiting 101 seminar for the witless wonder.
  • Another great stop in the blogdom...Battle Hymn Notes' look at the SECs inexperience on offense. Turns out Tebow's not only padding the stats of third world nations' circumsized male population, he's also padding the stats for the SECs starting QBs.
  • With all these night games getting on the skedYule...wouldn't it be nice to have a place near Sanford to crash after we kick Spurrier's tail?
  • No word yet if Mackie survived Savannah, but he did leave us with an Arizona State preview.
  • And remember Tra Battle beating Awwburn single handedly? Bubba n' Earl do.

In the words of Alan Ashley, tough week to be a celeb. We watched Ed pal around with Johnny and Doc. We watched Jill Munroe do whatever Charlie wanted. We waited with bated breath for MTV to air Thriller, only to freak out a little when newly renovated Michael flashed those werewolf eyes.

Then Billy goes quietly into the good night. Suddenly we're without a pitch, a thrill, wavy blonde hair and a Publisher's promise at millions.

It may seem bleak Reader, but stand fast. I have a new hero...Walt Kowalski from Gran Torino. I wanna grow up to be just like know, without all the latent racial hostility.

The way I see it, at 79 years old...the view from my front porch next to a cooler of cold PBR and a .38 Special should be quite refreshing.

Feel free to visit. Just don't bring any Sham-Wows. Only Zorbeez and KaBoom!

Have a good lunch Reader. Here's your fork.


Sunday, June 28, 2009

RIP Farrah

Growing up I was always more of a Jaclyn Smith fan. Who am I kiddin'...still am. But watching Charlie's Angels (the Aaron Spelling TV show you moron, not that dumb ass movie with the chick from There's Something About Mary), you could never deny Farrah's beauty. Plus, she was once married to the Six Million Dollar Man. Remember how the action figure had the telescopic eye you could look through?