Officer: M'am...are you okay?
Granny: Why yes officer. What seems to be the problem?
Officer: M'am, your car rolled off the embankment. We'll need a tow truck.
Granny: I just don't know how that happened. That nice young boy parked it for me.
Officer: What boy? Did he say anything else?
Granny: The one wearing the dungaree cutoffs handing out Jesus pamphlets in the parking lot. Asked me if my sons had been snipped. I told him the only boy I had was my pure-bred english bulldog, Dooley.
Officer: In which direction did he leave m'am?
Granny: Some douchebag in a FU visor wheel'd in with an orange hippie van and whisked him away. Nearly ran me over.
Officer: I'm sorry m'am. You're the third victim this week. We'll take it from here.
Granny: Effin' gayturd!