Thursday, April 1, 2010

Terence Moore, On the Record...with Willard

Never one to shy away from any type of attention, Terence Moore agreed to sit down with our very own Willard...albeit under the guise of wanting to learn more about developing the craft of writing. Dressed to the nines in a Ken Griffey Jr Mariners jersey, a brightly feathered cap and flip-flops, Moore seemed at ease, relaxed.

At least until Willard opened his mouth.

Willard - Hey Terry. How's it been since the AJC dropped you instead of the white guys?

Moore - I'm not sure I catch your meaning.

Willard - UUUUURRRRRP!! You know....ya got canned Terry.

Moore - I...uh...I...

Willard - Meanwhile Mark and Jeff and Tim and Chip...they're still tapping away on those typewriters. For what it's worth, I disliked your columns only (GULP!) marginally less than theirs....

Moore - Wait...hold on now. I'm now an adjunct media personality for ESPN. It was a shift in career I eagerly embraced....Is that a beer in your koozie?

Willard - Whoa! hugs Terry. UUUUURRRRRP!! This is strictttly pluh...pla...pluhtahh...we're just talkin' here dude. And yes....ya like my limited edition camo NRA beer colder thingamajig?

Moore - Look! I don't know who you are or what you're up to, but...

Willard - Simmer down Chief. How 'bout thiiiiis one....Any truth to the actual fact that Mike Campo drove you to run screaming from the building?

Moore - You really need to check your facts son. I retired from writing...

Willard - That's rich ya VickPimp. You tellin' me to fact check. You may have retired (Willard clumsily uses finger quotes)... UUUUURRRRRP!!...from writing. But you quit fact checking about the time the Jeffersons were moving on up. (awkward moment lengthened by an uncomfortable silence) You want a Natty Ice Terry? Helps me find my words...

Moore - No thanks. And off the record, Michael still owes me a dinner.

Willard - BWAHAHAHA!! UUUUURRRRRP!!....if the dog killa owes you a dinner, Griffey will have to work until Obama's daughter is elected to pay you back for all that ink. Not to mention David Justice.

Moore - This interview has nothing to do my craft as a writer does it? You're not interested...

Willard - No Terry. But it has EVERYTHING to do with your crap as a writer.

Moore - We're done here. You have a good day sir.

Willard - You too Craptastic! And Bernie says Happy Mike Campo DayUUUUURRRRRP!!

Well, that went about as expected. Thanks to Willard. Your coupon for beef jerky is in the mail.

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