Monday, August 2, 2010

Monday's Meatloaf - Frats Gone Wild!

The consequences of the trashy conduct on North Campus last fall has reached new depths of ugliness. I mean, it's one thing to have to suffer through new parking and tailgating legislation together with your brothers, but to try and take a benjamin from his wallet when he reaches into the cooler for a beer is just douchetastic.

If you don't know what I'm typing about, lemme catch you up. UGA fraternity AEPi sends memo to alumni informing them that the current brothers were going to use new tailgating and parking restrictions as a money making venture. Twenty bucks a pop or $105 for the full season.

The response got a little uncomfortable. Icksnay on the asturbationmay.
Have you ever done something you knew in your heart was wrong, like masturbate at your grandma's house? Well, I hate to say this, but what you and your active brothers are doing right now with charging $105 for a parking pass is equivalent to forcing your grandma to watch you jerk off and then charging her money for the show you just put on.

Would you explain what gives you the right to charge the alumni money to park at the frat house that was ours before it was yours? Are you trying to blatantly (DIRTYWORD!!)  us over? Or do you sincerely think we are stupid enough say, "Hey! That's a swell deal you got there!
How (DIRTYWORD!!dare you kids. ... I'm not going to pay, EVER. "Limited Time Offer, Bend Over and Let a college kid con you out of your money!"

So your telling me that I'm not going to be able to tailgate at my own house. This isn't a synagogue kid, that's not how it works. You don't charge members for the high holy dawgs home games. 
So the ripples in the water from the trash on North Campus reaches even further. Paying for someone else's misdeeds is tough enough. Paying to park at a frat house where you were doing shots of Jäger before the kid at the end of the driveway with the cash dripping from his pockets was even old enough to spell, it's no way to hold steady to the righteous path.

Today's Ingredients
  • Good news for Macon Dawgs...Coach Fox is taking his hardwood hero tour outside of Athens and to the Heart of Georgia.
  • Exile had a dream I think we all could live with.
  • Year2 over at TeamSpeedKills obviously doesn't read or listen to Finebaum or Bianchi enough. He reads like he's too impressed by Coach Richt's longevity, as if it's due to actual prosperity and not just because he's a nice guy.
  • Meanwhile cocknfire still isn't sold on Georgia, and for all the reasons I would expect. However, Randy roar'd and makes a compelling case for why the Dawgs will win the East.
  • On a related note, I plan to get into some predicting next week and for what it's worth (which isn't much in early August) I think cocknfire's dead on with his manner of evaluation. If Murray stays healthy, the ceiling is pretty high. (contrary statement redacted because it made author shiver).
  • Which is why stories like Aaron Murray's conditioning mishap make headlines...and make fans shift uneasily in their seats.
  • So we're prepared for the opening of camp and Weiszer has five storylines. And at Bulldawg Illustrated, Andrew Miller says there is no alternate plan 
  • Those ads for NATS tickets, hotdogs and cokes may soon be replaced with ones for actual football players: if you can do something with the football, we'll get it to you. Unless you're a punter...or a chop blocker.
  • Looks like Jeremiah Masoli and Houston Nutt are done making out and ready to make this thing legit. My favorite part? I felt like he needed us a whole lot more than we needed him. Coach Giggety, ladies and gentlemen.
  • Knowshon Moreno hurdled into camp, but limped out on Day 1.
  • While I was wondering who Georgia's greatest living legend was, the guys at 3rdSiB were doing their best to decide on the best coach in the history of the SEC? 
  • Great story on South Carolina's new OL coach that also sheds some light on our own OL coach's heroic nature.(h/t Dawgtoons)
  • Ndamukong Suh hasn't forgotten the team he left behind. (h/t the Wiz)
  • Lastly, sign #586 that the economy is still a drag: thieves are way too involved in corporate quality control. Maybe he shoulda just Biggie-sized his order.
  • UPDATE: one additional programming ingredient. I can't begin to describe my disappointment that no one was able to answer the question as to why Amp had to drive to a home game back in '75. Especially all you Jaguar grads that read my drivel. For shame!

Time is drawing near ain't it? While Grantham is looking on to see how much his charges have absorbed, the rest of us anxiously await that trip to Athens September 4th. To prime the pump a little further, Bill King wants to know which home game you're most looking forward to. On the surface that may seem a difficult question. However, perhaps the true answer is as easy to see as the thousands of car flags that will wave gracefully down 316 in four and a half weeks.

Indeed, the game I'm most looking forward to is the one closest on the calendar. Ironically, it's a game that's not likely to satiate the hunger that's been growing this off season. Sure, Louisiana-Lafayette isn't gonna get the blood boiling like Tennessee. A nooner with the Ragin' Cajuns may not be as sexy as Petrino's Piggies...well, that analogy was more than a little awkward. But you get my point.

I can tell you I can't wait to see how many nerds come to Athens after Thanksgiving to try and hold us to just 338 yards rushing. But the truth is that game is a decade away. Just get me to Athens, let me high five the barkers around me, let's all get off the chain when the team (and Russ!) run out...then we'll be ready. Football will finally be here, giving us that warm embrace that only September sunshine in Sanford can.

Can you tell I've been loading up on Munson's Greatest Calls DVDs?

Well, don't just sit there Dawg fans. Tailgater's need training just as much as the gridiron giants. Mike has the right idea, and Exile's already two steps ahead. Here's a cooler, two bags of ice and a suitcase of Natterdays. Hustle! If just one cube melts we're gonna do it all over again!!

Have a good Monday Reader. And by all means, don't go bilking your own brothers. There's enough meatloaf for all of us.



AthensHomerDawg said...

Paying for parking? Apparently, there is a new sheriff(MFIC) in town! Aren't there some things in life one should never pay for ..... water(tap water is fine),cell phones (got mine with the plan), news(nothing wrong with getting it from the net), exercise(are those gym memberships a rip off anyway),anti-virus programs. That was my list ....until my beautiful bride pointed out SEX! One should never pay for sex. Dinner and a movie should never constitute payment either... so don't go there!( I stuck that in when she went for that second cup of coffee) ;-)

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