Thursday, October 14, 2010

Are You Fan Enough Kid?

Last week I called you out, laid down the law. And for the most part everyone fell in line. Saturday was a great day to be a Dawg fan. I was not embarrassed by those who sat around me. The energy was good. The behavior was near perfect, save some one-toothed wonders scattered about.

Of course, we must take into account the fact that when the home team sprints out to a 17-0 lead, it's hard for even the drunkest of dillweeds to find reason to boo. So maybe they were there, just suddenly feeling less strength in their numbers...less virile and more sterile.

I could be working an algorithm.
However, while my bone to pick with the boo-birds is no where to be found, I do have one for those lazy, pampered, snot-nosed students whose seats remain empty. No, not those of you matriculaters that show up really early, just as Sanford is opening; rising with the early tailgaters to make sure you get a good seat. I'm referring to the ones who just can't seem to drag their lazy ass out of bed on a Saturday morning, slap on a t-shirt and a pair of flip-flops so they can walk down Baxter to cheer on their classmates.

At the Tennessee game I was sitting next to this old guy who was telling me of a couple students that told him it's just too much to have a game at noon the Saturday after a night on the town. As he said, IT'S SIX SATURDAYS A YEAR!! Are you kidding me? And like Derek n Ol' Dawg pontificated, back in our day nearly all the games were at 1:00. Plus, beer downtown Friday night back then was practically free which made Saturday mornings about as pleasant as waking up on the floor next to a used trash can. And yet, we still marched up the hill to Guthries for a remedy cure and then back down Baxter to Sanford (yes, through three feet of snow, barefoot) in plenty of time to see the team warm up.

But not you. Your week was way too stressful between the Biology lab on Wednesday and that Philosophy paper you barely avoided. Much too taxing to go over to the stadium and actually be required to cheer. God, if you actually had to get up at 6am to drive over from Atlanta or further...YOU...JUST...MIGHT....DIE.

Well, take a moment away from your daddy's crackberry to listen up. This is your time. Soon, getting tickets will be even more difficult for you. UGAA will actually require a significant monetary commitment. Currently, you're unable to even commit to light beer. So your future attendance is highly suspect. It might be a good idea to actually take advantage of a good athletic program, brush your teeth...learn to bark. 

They've got spirit, how about YOU?
When I was your age I was so committed I gave 5 years to my undergraduate experience. Maybe your parents won't bankroll you that long. Hell, if you were my kid I woulda already cut you off when I found the first unused ticket to a glorious Saturday afternoon just outside the hedges. Consider yourself lucky. Then, do me and the rest of the Dawg Nation a favor...give your ticket to someone who has aspirations that begin before noon on a gameday Saturday. Someone who is just as disgusted by empty aluminum stadium seats as yours truly. One of those spirited kids who'd love nothing more than to paint himself red, affix a black mohawk to his head and stand in line with the rest of the abled student body. Someone who would like nothing more than to hear an alarm clock on a Fall Saturday morning cuz it means another chance to spend the day with 94,000 Dawg fans. A person who simply has more bite to his bark than your no good, yellow bellied, worthless, might as well be orange butt.

Saturday's Homecoming. Not only are your classmates playing in the game, they're also performing in the stands, walking as part of the Court. Plus, the alumni who have laid the groundwork before you are coming home to cheer, play and revisit old memories. AND ON TOP OF THAT...there's a changing of the collar ceremony Saturday. Uga VIII Big Bad Bruce gets to meet his extended family, frolic on the turf, then straddle a bag or two of ice.

If you'd rather sleep than be a part of that...well, then I don't know you son. You might as well be some engiNerd pounding away at his Ti-85 in the library at 2 o'clock on a Saturday afternoon in the Fall. That's how they roll on North Avenue kid. This...this is Athens G-E-O-R-G-I-A. This red and black Nation will go on, we'll continue to thrive in fact.

But please God...please help this country with sorry souls like these. For they'll never truly be FAN enough.


Anonymous said...

Georgia Bulldogs


is twice as good as our


# 67 NCAA Total Offense

# 64 NCAA Scoring Offense

# 82 NCAA Aaron Murray sacked


# 28 NCAA Total Defense

# 38 NCAA Scoring Defense

# 44 NCAA in Sacking our Opponents’ QB

Dawgwalker07 said...

Trust me Bernie, when I'm not working gameday mornings I am one of those students there when the stadium opens. As a student who will graduate in May, this is my last season and I'm trying to take as much of an advantage of it as I can.

I can't speak for the rest of the chumps that I go to school with, but I'm there. And I'm just as frustrated with the rest of my peers as you are.

And I managed to get off work this weekend, so I'll wave in your general direction!

Bernie said...

@Anon Thanks for the stats... People who say our defense hasn't improved and isn't on the way to great things are quite simply blind and ignorant.

@Dawgwalker07 You shout GEORGIA and I'll shout BULLDOGS.

Griff said...

My favorite part of the student dilemma is when things are going our way (as in winning), they complain that all of the alumni/donors get all the tickets. But in times like these, they are the first ones to bail. Great challenge...I just hope they listen!

Fred said...

And yes, children, Bernie really did all of those things (set 8 am alarms, use Guthrie's for medicinal purposes, show up for warm ups, etc.) when he was your age.

except maybe the snow... it was actually 3 feet of ice and we had to shoot polar bears and survive off of Jim Beam and eat whatever food we could beg from the alumni


Paul said...

I agree. However, student tickets are not handled the way they were in the past. They actually can't be given away or transferred.

"Student tickets for the 2010 season will be inscribed on your valid UGA ID. There will be no physical tickets for home games."

Anonymous said...

Back in my day blah blah blah.. Youre the old man yelling "Stay off my lawn". Get a life and find something useful to write about.. Even better just put down the pen!

Bernie said...

@Paul I thought I read somewhere that they could return their game "credit" if they weren't going to attend. But yeh, it's a lot different now. I think I paid $10 for the whole season package.

@Anon 2:27 I didnt know you lived next door...?? If you don't like my penmanship, feel free to click elsewhere. The internet is free.

Dawgwalker07 said...

@Paul and @Bernie. Yes you can return your ticket to the "pool" and it will be randomly awarded to some young pup who didn't get a ticket to that game, but my experience with my friends has been that few people remember to do it. Plus you don't get your money back that you put into to get the ticket, so you basically volunteer a ticket to someone. I know $8 or $9 isn't a whole whole lot but it's frustrating when you used to be able to sell a ticket for 30-40 and now you literally have to give them away if you can't go.

Dawgmjs said...

Fred, I remember Shrimp Boat remedy as well. Not to mention left over Gumby's.