Thursday, October 28, 2010

Hate ain't a strong enough word

One rival believes the birth of college football began when Stephen Orr Spurrier slithered south about 550 miles and nested in Gainesville back in the late 1980s. The other prefers Robotics Club over gridiron greatness.

Which do you think is our biggest rival?

I'll begin by typing that I don't think it's at all necessary that the entire Dawg Nation agree that Florida or GA Tech is our biggest rival. Afterall, America is made up of Democrats and Republicans...(Ahem!...unfortunately).

Anyway, from my experience the older Dawg is staunchly in the corner of the North Avenue pimple poppers being our biggest rival. They're in-state, they're the last game of the season and our workplaces, streets and neighborhoods are littered with them. Yet, they're mostly pathetic in the series (which Georgia owns 60-37-5) and take any occasion to point out problems (scooter mishaps and speeding tickets) in Georgia's athletic program while using their revisionist history wand of power on their own misdeeds (read: Reuben "Ganja Felon" Houston and Joe "Doobie Haze" Hamilton).

But the biggest argument against the engiNerds is that the road to the SEC Championship doesn't traverse down North Avenue. It goes along the St. Johns River.

So enter the Gayturds. If my level of hate for Yech registers a seemingly perfect 10, my animosity towards floriDuh is additionally sprinkled with a hint of proximity and jealousy (read: MNCs, recent SECCGs...not fashion sense, hair styles or lightning quick, angst ridden, text-typing thumbs). UGA and NATS may only be separated by 60 miles, but Slurban's minions are altogether much closer, divisionally speaking.

Of course in the history of college football, the FU Gaytors are merely recent contributors to the sport. But Bobby Dodd and John Heisman still don't stokes the fires of disgust and revulsion like Steve Damn Spurrier and Urban Crier. No there's not one thing clean or old-fashioned about this rivlary we have with the go gaytuhs!

Hate just ain't a strong enough word. 

But by Thanksgiving, I'm sure it will be once again.

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