Monday, May 16, 2011

Monday's Meatloaf - Stupidity has run amok

How to implicate yourself in 20 words or less:




Sometimes it's just better to keep your mouth closed. That said, I hate when I lift some chicks purse and then she tells the judge there was more crap in there than there actually was. Pisses me off! 

She doesn't even look like she knows how to use a calculator.


Today's Ingredients
  • UGA Athletics news to come. But first, this is the biggest news from the weekend. Welcome home Exile! Whatever shall we call thee now?
  • Teams continue to find that it's hard to beat the Dawgs in tennis. Both the men and the women have advanced to the round of 16 and play later this week in California.
  • Not a great weekend for the Diamond Dawgs, but they did earn their spot in the SEC Tourney with a win over the Wildcats.
  • The softball team couldn't quite win the SEC Saturday, but they will host a regional this week against Georgia State.
  • Mike thinks the "Tale" is wagging the Dawg once more.
  • Remember, tonight we find out where Dillon Lee intends on playing football in college.
  • ecdawg enters into the college playoff discussion with some words he thinks Tony Barhart missed.
  • PWD had an intriguing post yesterday about the future of Georgia Sports Blog. Hmmm...
  • Although the "should have lost" descriptor makes me cringe, Martin van Dawgin has the first post in an installment designed to evaluate Coach Richt.
  • If you don't know the name Nkemdiche, Chad Simmons says you should become familiar ($$).
  • Yes! I've been saying this more and more the last couple years - get the student athletes off the social webs as much as possible. 
  • Although I do disagree with Mr. Sanchez, I think Coach Fox has the right idea: let the guys who've shown they can handle themselves maturely have a longer leash.
  • "Tressel doesn't deny wrongdoing. By hiring Marsh, Tressel intends to not deny himself the best chance of survival." If Jimmy Tressel weren't so slimy he might actually be cute. h/t Senator
  • Not long after finding out that Mike Blakely might transfer from Gayturdsville to Skip Holtz's South Florida team, we also find out that FUs Chris Dunkley may do the same thing.
  • Lastly, Serena Williams recently graduated from the Erin Andrews School of Attention Whoring, magna cum laude no less.

Always willing to try something different, today I'm coming to you from the luggage compartment of my mother in law's car. She's leaving our home today despite the pleadings of all of its denizens. She intends to head home, a return to retirement living. Peace and quiet reawakened.

But the thought of detoxing two kids who've spent nearly two weeks being entertained by their grandparents, plus dealing with my tonsilless patient...I have decided to leave as well. When the going gets tough on the homefront, dads typically resort to extreme measures. Hence the reason I'm currently huddled up with a spare tire and trying not to yelp when she hits a pothole.

Meanwhile, I'm sure my kids are on the school bus, crying. They'll spend the day trudging through their readings, some math word problems...maybe a visit to the library where they'll mindlessly thumb through a book. Lunch and recess will lift their spirits. And then they'll get off the bus and realize their mom is their own to care for. They'll debate which one has the better measuring skills when it comes to liquid narcotic oral suspension. Mrs. Bernie will whisper at them, with several exclamation points!!!!!

(Crap) just got real in the Bernie home y'all. Everybody might love Raymond, but in my house this dad is getting a different vibe. And yet I'm starting to feel bad about leaving. This was a stupid idea, what was I thinking? When my lady's old lady pulls over to refill her iced tea, I guess I'll hop off and head back south. Any readers around the Charlotte area that are Atlanta bound today? 

I packed a PB&J. I'll split it with ya...? The rest of you enjoy your Monday. 

Bernie