Monday, October 24, 2011

Monday's Meatloaf - Back to the future

You smell that? That's the odor of swamp air mixed with Charlie Weis blowing a hole in his 8XXL Hanes tighties. Miserable bastard.
Don't switch the blade on
the guy in shades, oh no.
I know I complained about the poor timing of Mrs. Bernie’s high school reunion. But once she got dressed and put on the heels Saturday evening I realized that it probably would not have been wise to allow her to look that striking in the midst of a bunch of guys her dad used to beat off with a stick. Not that I’m a very imposing guy mind you. I just think some guys might fall right back in that high school frame of mind too easily, at which point I could be there to remind them that 20 years hasn’t changed much as far as their chances of slow dancing to Cyndi Lauper with the hot chick from their 4th period government class.

Even when I failed in my quest to go the whole weekend without embarrassing my lovely wife it was still apparent that I was just as cool as Billy Idol and Corey Hart rolled into one. Granted, my best break dancing moves eluded me until late in the game, and falling to the floor before even opening my flask was not the greatest accompaniment to everyone’s hors d’oeuvres.

However, it’s all how you finish ladies and gents. And no one can do Michael’s Billy Jean like I can. All you losers in the Members Only jackets, standing there wishing you looked less like George McFly and had moved out of mom's basement…the hottie by the bar pretending not to notice me, the girl is mine.

Nope. These aren't genetic
anomalies folks.
Today's Ingredients
If my calculations are correct, gators
still suck.
It's only fair that I warn you at the outset Reader, this week has hard work ahead. It will not be for the feint of heart. The annual clash between Georgia and Florida is serious business. The theme here will be accountability. If we want the team to perform better in Jacksonville then it's only fair that we hold ourselves to the same standards.

Because the fact is that we've dropped the ball too. We've gotten practically apathetic, just going through the motions down there. Willing to accept our fate while ignoring the history.

And don't get me wrong, I include myself in that brief analysis. But I'm not going to just sit here and type posts this week to make ourselves feel better about the WLOCP. It's hate week and we need to turn things around in this series. So tighten that chin strap and put on the big boy pants. History will teach us nothing and if we're going to alter the future the time is now. 

We'll need more than a plutonium filled DeLorean to do the world a favor and smack a damn gatorHere's your fork Reader. Have a great Monday.


1 comment:

JaxDawg05 said...

It's Monday so I'll start off slow, I hate the Florida Gators.