Friday, December 2, 2011

Friday misery, chapter 12: from MARTA train to ENERGY BUS

Where are we? Right where we should be! Aimed for the Georgia Dome the first Saturday of December. It's been six long years, but Coach Richt has the energy buses fired up. As we stood waiting on those MARTA trains late September 3rd, who knew we'd be bouncing back down the connector towards downtown Atlanta?

To quote the legend: I gave up. You did too. We were out of it and gone. Miracle!

Over here Betty Sue! Over here!
Tailback Who?
I know it. You know it. Let's say it together: We need our freshman RB on the goshdamn field tomorrow. But judging from the change in Coach Richt's demeanor Wednesday evening once reporters asked him about the tailbacks, even he doesn't know if his star tailback is gonna play more than the token snap or two. It was like the freshman had held that puppy up once more and the little teat sucker had pissed in the head man's hot chocolate. Damn son.

When it comes to running backs in silver britches Saturday there are two things that are certain: 1. DICKSAM4 won't be playing and 2. there will be a lot of drama as to who actually is playing, down to down. And that just frustrates the everlovin' shit out of me. We need #1's talent to have a fighter's chance. He'll definitely start. But given recent history, we can certainly expect to rely on Malcome, Thomas, Harton...Zander...the water girl...into the 4th quarter. You know, when the game tends to be on the line. And the championship could be in the balance.

You get to Atlanta in early December, you have to want the football. You have to want it worse than ol Grizzard wanted Kathy Sue Loudermilk to pucker up under the grit tree. Damn stright! That bad. 

Cuz ya see I'm on
a WINNING streak!
I've got three words for you Mr. Green Jersey: Prove. Us. Wrong.

Wife says I have thin lips. But right now they feel fat and ready to rock. So much so I feel like struttin'.

I THOUGHT I would be satisfied last weekend by finishing the season off with a (ho-hum) win over our in-state non-rivalrous pimple pushers. I THOUGHT I would just cruise into this little SEC championship all relaxed and stress free. I THOUGHT my college football hunger would be satiated.

Wrong. We're at the end of the season and I only want more. We're down to one game, a month layoff and then the bowl game. It's practically friggin' over people!!! On September 3rd as I finally boarded MARTA headed north I couldn't wait for this day to come. Then the sucker punch that was the Carolina game only intensified my hatred for the 2011 tackle football season. Now...after 10 wins in a row...I wanna punch December in the nose. Get the hell out of here! Take down the tree and send the mall Santas back home. I don't want to feel jolly. I want to see the team come from the tunnel again. I want another trumpet in the southwest corner. Dare I say...I want to go back to Jax.

Don't tell me how white my shirts can be. Lester can't be a man cuz he doesn't smoke the same cigars as me. He chews grass. I can't get no Capital One Bowl. I want some sUGAr honey! 

Pucker up Kathy Sue!

Go Dawgs!


Hamp Tanner said...

Well played, sir. Well played.

Big Muddy Dawg said...

I feel you, Bernie. But, as they say, you can't always get what you want. Still, I hold out hope that we may yet drink from the loving cup. How much satisfaction would that bring, after our 0-2 start, when it looked like the beggar's banquet for us? You're right, though. The way this season has gone, wild horses couldn't drag me away if it were somehow extended for another 6 months. And you know what's one of my favorite things about us making it back to the Dome? Keeping them little red roosters out of Sakerlina from crowing. Man, that brings a smile to my face because I have no sympathy for the devil that is Spurrier.

I'm getting way too excited about our game tomorrow. Hopefully, our boys will play tough, let it bleed out there on the field and if things go as they should and we get our rocks off, we could wind up with sticky fingers. On account of all that Sugar, naturally.

OK, I'll quit now.

Bernie said...

Big Muddy, that's the funniest thing I've read in a while. I'm still chuckling. Don't know if you're a DbT fan, but I tried to weave some lyrics of theirs together back in February - Not nearly as humorous, but fun nonetheless.

You're welcome at my beggar's banquet anytime.

Big Muddy Dawg said...

Ha! Well, done, Bernie. I rather enjoyed that!