Monday, December 31, 2012

Bowls and SEC "allegiance"

The SEC bowls start today. So I thought I'd throw in my yearly tongue lashing for those of you that like to wallow around with our enemies. Stand back, and please....PLEASE!! try to reason with me in the comments.
Here...look in the mirror Fake Dawg fans.
It comes down to one question in my mind: how does Florida...or Vandy....or Mississippi State winning a bowl game help me? Argue all you want about SEC Pride and allegiance and some fake award ESPN created for you lap dogs. The gators winning a football game does nothing but make me miserable. Ever. Always has and always will.

Oh sure. You just sit there silently and hope for the scripted helmets to score more points, and tackle really well and throw the ball to the correct jersey. It's not like you're outwardly cheering for them and doing the gator chomp in your living room...mere feet from that spot on your wall with the picture of Lindsey Scott leaving them in his wake. You just sit on your hands and root for them mentally. Blah blah blah.

Shame on you. You make me sick. I'd root for General Sherman over the gators. I'd rather the Russians win an Olympic swimming event. I'd pull for painful itchy hemorrhoids over floriduh.

"But Bernie! Coach Dooley rooted for another SEC when his little boy was coaching up yonder. This isn't even that bad. It's a bowl game. It makes Georgia look better when their conference looks good."

Whatever jackhole. That's him, this is me I'm talking about. I'm proud my team is in the SEC, but part of being in this conference is the understanding that I'd rather see each of the other teams rot a slow death in Hell than win a football game. My allegiance is to Glory, Glory, not a conference that has Penn Wagers on payroll. Our coach has our best interests at heart, not the commissioner. So I support Coach Richt, not Mike Slive.

Therefore, I'd much rather see Louisville win by four touchdowns than mentally do the gator chomp. And the same extends to every other bowl eligible SEC team. I hope they all lose, handsomely.

Well...the BCS game...I don't know. I REALLY hate Notre Dame. And evidently they also harbor sexual assault criminals in addition to the (gasp!) closet protestants. Plus, maybe it helps my Dawgs finish higher in the rankings if Bama, a team we almost beat, win the MNC...??

Then again, what does that really do for me? Is the reward worth the embarrassment I feel having cheered for an enemy? I can't sing rammer jammer any better than I can root for Muschamp. So instead I guess I'll tune in on the off chance I get to see Brian Kelly sodomize Saban.

I do have one question though that maybe you can answer for me: where is Abuurn playing this year? I couldn't find them on the bowl schedule.