Monday, December 10, 2012

Monday's Meatloaf - No longer numb, but I might still vomit

It's taken a week or more, but I don't think I'm completely numb any longer as to the ways things unfolded in the Georgia Dome against Alabama. I've heard a lot of people describe the level of frustration and displeasure as they walked away from this year's SEC Championship. I only recall a deep ache in my heart and then just being kind of dazed, anesthetized. Weary from walking up to the summit, then turned around just as we thought we were traversing the peak, I just remember looking at all the Crimson Tide fans and thinking, "This is our reward? To walk through this madness, get in our car and go home? With each and every shout of 'Roll! TIDE! Roll!' like a dagger in my chest, this is what we get?"

Pippa posing a few
paragraphs too early...
Normally after a loss, each day you wake up a little easier and light of foot. But such was not the case last week. Each day was agony and Saturday was brutal as we didn't even get to go to Athens to heal together with another game.

But I'm ready to move forward. I'm taking off the robe and slippers I've been wearing for eight days and putting on clothes. I've brushed my teeth and am acting as if there is life after the 2012 SECCG! I'm not humming a tune yet but there's one gathering in my head. I don't want to push it, but I may even (gasp!!) watch a few minutes of the Monday night football game tonight. However, if there's a random deflected pass at the line of scrimmage I might need an elephant tranquilizer to deal with the anguish. So I'll enter that threshold carefully and steady of foot.

So, I guess what I'm saying is I'm coming to grips with losing that amazing game. I'm ready to embrace the idea of watching my team put everydamnthing out there on the field and still walk away with nothing but nightmarish memories. I think I can actually stand the thought of moving forward with life after the 2012 season.

Because what we witnessed nine days ago was, for all intents and purposes, the national title game. We can all agree on that quite easily. The game in Orlando is a celebration, a matter of bridging the gap between what happened December 1st and what will happen next August 31st; a holiday reward for the players and fans of one of the best teams I've had the pleasure of rooting for in all of my days.

That shower and shave felt good. The memories of what happened didn't wash away...but I'm no longer just numb.

Today's Ingredients
- And a lot of credit for me being able to move forward this morning goes to this video ecdawg posted yesterday - We'll be back!
- Heading down to Orlando? Tyler has a lead on some bowl packages as well as a giveaway.
- But the coaches won't need any help getting to Orlando after their bonuses kick in.
- Buck moved forward pretty quickly as he's already looking at the changes in store for Grantham's defense next season.
- Speaking of moving quickly, Spencer Hall already has footage from the "contest" in Miami.
- In Knutsville things are moving quickly towards a very merry Christmas. Even though CCRider doesn't think Santa Claus will last long in the HillBillys' chimney.
- Blutarsky has little sympathy for Texas Tech's AD. However, I feel very sorry for the Bearcat grad assistants.
- Looking for more coaching news? Mr. SEC has all that and more in his headlines from yesterday.
- If you watched Johnny Manziel make history Saturday night, you really only have yourself to blame. I did all I could to help you.
- Have you joined the third annual bowl pool, Festivus4theDawgNus? Password is - thehumanfund. Kruger's flask is running low. Bowl games start Saturday!

Alright, so while I was dazed and confused, evidently it was announced that Pippa's sister is preggers. Everyone's all worked up that there will be a royal dirty diaper in the kingdom sometime next summer. But in truth it appears as if things have already gotten dirty.

The royal embryo seen here flipping off
the duchess' digestive tract
The duchess...oh, am I supposed to capitalize that? I don't know, being American and all I don't really give a flip on the formality of it. Especially when the newspapaers across the pond can just print stories about Prince William's wife vomiting, and her vomit that has been vomited all over top of the old vomit that she vomited earlier. It's enough to make me vomit, which is about 349 less times than Duchess Kate has vomited in the past week it seems. (btw, it wasn't until just now that I realized that the word "vomited" only has one "t" and not two. The more you know huh?)

Yep, Pippa's sister has something called hyperemesis gravidarum. Mrs. Bernie had that with our youngest. But I don't guess Prince William and his fancy ascot will be mopping up all of his wife's vomit. Which I did, time after time. And all while caring for the two year old, working 40 hours a week and feeding my queen one and a half saltines each evening. And I don't suppose it'll take the royal subjects six months and 349 more piles of vomit to convince the doctor that it might just be time to give her highness something more than a pat on the back and a roll of the eyes from the nurses. "By the way, your copay is $20 Mr. Bernie."

Thanks. Thanks a lot. No Prince Willy probably has doctors lined up ten deep as well as chambermaids and stewards and butlers and younger brothers to hand the mop to. Because God Save the Queen!! and all should Lady Kate be asked to hold her head over a toilet, er commode...or is it just a bloody john? "My lovely Kate, bearer of my son the future King of England and most likely a smashing good cricket mid-wicket, or a jolly good gully, could you perhaps retire to the powder room to wretch your guts out me lady? I am desperately trying to type out this tweet to Harry. Oh! And on your way darling, what is a hastag any way?"


#royalbaby causes #lovelyDuchessKate to throw #pricelessvase 
at the heir's head. Then she #vomits on his #spongebobslippers
[insert picture of Harry snowboarding] 

Have a lovely day Reader! I hope it's vomit free.

Bernie