Saturday, June 30, 2012

Let's not roll on the Shabbos y'all


"It's down there somewhere. Lemme take another look." - the Dude

And it turns out we in fact will get to take another look. The Big Lebowski 2 is in the works with all the original cast. I suppose this means that Jeff Bridges nor John Goodman ever washed Donny's ashes from their faces. Turturro, Seymour-Hoffman, Julianne Moore and maybe even Bunny return (if the Coen brothers let her out of the doghouse). Added to the cast is Bill Murray and the kid that played Zuckerburg in the BookFace movie. Count me among those millions that will probably take the time to do something with the sequel that they didn't with the original - see it in a theater.

Now, let's try not to roll on the Shabbos.
- Speaking of movies, that new one with McConagay stripping came out yesterday and my wife spent a quiet evening at home with me. I'm taking that as as good a sign as any.
- Tyler wants to know where are the characters have gone. I'm hesitant to tell him he may not see Nutt for another 12 years.
- Lot of emotional fallout over yesterday's news. Earlier this morning I tried to make some sense of it all. More importantly, Fletcher takes a look at the position, once a beacon of emerging talent and skyrocketing dreams, now tarnished by wasted opportunities.
- Moving forward, Kipp Adams looks at what's next ($) for the Dawgs at tailback. Both current and future.
- Ching looks at Chris Conley. I for one was unaware that he broke his foot in Orlando.
- PWD analyzes how the new playoff system could impact the SEC by looking back at who may or may not have gotten into the dance in years past.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm heading out of town and need to finish arguing with the car's trunk. I've got a lot of time wasters in the queue for the coming days...for those of you who miss the 1980's especially. So mix up a nice cool caucasian and don't let the rug slip away.

Crowell: the epilogue

Yesterday's news wasn't so much surprising as it was disappointing. Isaiah Crowell held up a puppy and won our hearts. His reward was similar to so many other talented tailbacks that flashed in the pan that is the Georgia Bulldog backfield: his expectations were too heavy a burden.

Now I'm not making excuses for the kid. Just saying that to be the starting tailback at UGA requires broad shoulders. Although I wish him well, I don't feel sorry for Crowell. People can blather on and on about whether he got a fair shake, whether the charges will stick, or whether he ever should've been given a scholarship in the first place. Pointless exercise if you ask me. The bottom line is that here's a super talent that could've played anywhere he wanted. He had an opportunity most of us would've loved to have gotten. He could've left Athens on top of the world at best, and with a college degree at least. He leaves with nothing. And no one to blame but himself.

Moving forward, there are bigger questions for fans of the program than those surrounding Isaiah Crowell. Starting with the freshman fallout, disciplining those that were also in the car. And no, I'm not worried about the depth chart. I'm certainly not concerned with recruits that may or may not fill the slot left by Crowell. No, as we close this chapter in the ongoing saga of tailbacks in Athens I wonder if the ball that used to not be so heavy, is cursed.

For every Hearst, too many Torrin Kirtseys. For every Lars Tate, an abundance of Washaun Ealeys. For every Rodney Hampton, a slew of Robert Edwards' knees and Knowshon Moreno two and dones.

Don't show me fingers to point. I just need an answer to one question: are we ever going to get another running back that has the heart, the health and the talent to rise to our own expectations?

Maybe that's the next chapter. But right now I'm sure you can understand if I'm not holding my breath.

*sorry about the title change. Epilogue? Prologue? Late night brain fart.*

Friday, June 29, 2012

Crowell ends career in jail - reUPDATED

reUPDATE: Dismissed.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

On the bright side of scooters!!

No way he hurdles this mess. No. Way.
Here's the booking report.

In a school zone, with a concealed weapon and an altered ID.

See ya Crow.

UPDATE: Schlabach has more details if you want them.

GATArchives - greatest upset at WLOCP

Sure, there have been plenty of upset faces for Dawg fans leaving Jacksonville the last couple decades. But the biggest upset in Georgia history was one handed to the hated Gators. 

The year was 1985 and Galen Hall not only had his fightin' reptiles #1 in the nation, he also had inherited the team on probation. Charley Pell had left the program steeped in controversy in the middle of the 1984 season. Strapped with over 100 major NCAA infractions, Hall would rally his players the rest of the season to a 9-1-1 record. That catapulted them into the '85 season where they were undefeated coming into the WLOCP.

The problem for the Gators was, the Dawgs never blinked. Behind the powerful legs of freshman Keith Henderson Dooley's offense rushed for over 300 yards. And even though Kerwin Bell threw for over 400 yards, Florida never found the endzone. A 6-1-1 Georgia team ranked #17 in the nation proved to their rivals that the Gator Bowl was still their turf with a 24-3 upset win.

Because the game wasn't televised, very little footage has ever been seen. Luckily Dawg19 has us covered with this recap by Larry Munson. Enjoy.

Never gets old seeing a Florida quarterback struggle to get off the turf. Hope you enjoyed that one too. And if you were there we'd love to hear what the experience was like...taking down the hated Gators in the biggest upset in Georgia football history.

*for more on the game, check out Garbin's post from a couple years ago.

Thursday, June 28, 2012


**This is a future post, based solely on my skepticism and cynicism in the leadership and current mindset surrounding major college football. Read now or save until 2024.**

Hey Sexton! I want lots a chicken!
Ok, so yesterday as reported by Sr. Lead College Football Analyst Joe Schad on ESPNU3, commissioners from all four conferences met to discuss expanding the playoff format from its current 16 team seeding to 32 or possibly 48 teams. This has long been rumored to be in the works as dwindling funds have many athletic admins scraping by. Just last week South Carolina offered Houston Nutt the head coaching position for just $5.75 million a year. 

What's more is that the University of Texas' operating budget is now dipping below $300 million for the first time in nearly a decade. Longhorn officials cite dwindling football season ticket sales as the #1 culprit as fans save nickels and dimes during the fall so that they can possibly spend the cash on the post-season hotel rooms, seats on Greyhounds and "We're #1!!" foam fingers.

Locally the impact has had similar unsavory results. Just last November attendance at the Georgia-Georgia Tech game was at its lowest since 2018; only 18,000 Georgia fans showed up to cheer the third-stringers and walk-ons at Bobby Dodd after both teams had clinched spots in their all important conference championships.
"Why would I play my best fish fryers on a Dragon Con weekend," responded Tech head coach Paul Johnson. "Lil Timmy can chop block. Just last week he took out Coach Groh's starting DE in drills. I know what it takes to win games next month. I don't care that we haven't won a game against UGA since 2009. This game with the pups means nothing. We're getting ready for Wake Forest and the Super Duper Atlantic Mega Game in Spartanburg SC next week. We want better than the national 13 seed we got last year in Poughkeepsie."
Heh, so long bitches!
And fans continue to clamor for a return to the glory days of the long defunct Bowl Championship Series. Not long after Iowa had beaten California for the Target Stores National Championship Game featuring 2 for the price of 1 Tide cleaning detergent, many pointed to the fact that the Cyclones freshman quarterback Vince Young Jr. had not even played a meaningful snap all season until December. Texas Longhorn DSISTC (Damn Straight I'm Still The Coach!) Mack Brown only chuckled, "I knew they's saving that kid. Nothing wrong with that! Heh, heh!"

But signs still point to a dead BCS. Mike Slive has long left the country on his yacht MONEY BAG$$. He hasn't even been seen since the Summer of 2017 somewhere off the coast of southern France sipping courvoisier from a vintage Ole Miss stadium cup. And he's the only person who has a map to where Sagarin's formula is buried. appears we're heading towards a larger post-season. Despite the fact that no team ranked higher than 9th all season has won the championship in over eight years. Despite the fact that the champion hasn't won its own conference since Boise State got in as a 7 seed out of the Pac-Mountain-Semi-Western WEED IS FINALLY LEGAL!!! Athletical Conference in 2019. And despite the fact that EDSBS' long running CFB fan poll shows a whopping 99% dissatisfaction rating with the current system.

If there's a silver lining to those long lost years being in the rearview mirror, at least the coaches are still no longer voting. Southern Badass Country Boys Can Survive Athletic Superiority Conference commissioner Mumme has at least been able to keep that off the table. Even the 2021 champion Hawaii Rainbow Obama non-Birthers approve.

Stay tuned as next week we look back at how major television networks used to actually broadcast sporting events, as well as the related article by Sr. ESPN the iMagazine Sportswriter Craig James.

One night, two new seasons

Tonight's a great night for television. No, So You Think You Can Fart isn't on and Dirty Dancing with Washed up NFL Stars isn't premiering (I don't think). The new seasons of Wilfred and Louie come on tonight at 10:00 and 10:30 respectively. Beyond Justified and Breaking Bad there are few shows on television these days I will wholeheartedly endorse. These are two comedies that break the mold.

There aren't two videos on the internet that do the shows justice. But if you're still not sold, tune in or set your DVR. You can come back and thank me later.

Bonus, Louie CK is coming to Athens November 30th. Celebrate the SECCG eve in style at the Classic fat idiot.

Now back to your regularly scheduled Swamp People, hosted by Gene Chizik.

h/t BassinDawg

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

"Dr. Murray, paging Dr. Murray"

While pursuing a return trip to the SECCG Aaron Murray also begins work towards his masters degree, and in turn his doctorate in Industrial and Organizational Psychology this fall. He'll likely take nine credit hours during the season.
“In the springtime, I’ll probably bump it up,” said Murray, who received his undergraduate degree in May and made the Athletic Director’s Honor Roll in the spring.

Murray, entering his redshirt junior season, got a projection from the NFL underclassmen advisory committee last winter.

Asked if he was happy with where he was told he would go, Murray said: “There is improvement to be made. That’s all I’ve got to say."

Murray had a good laugh at that.

Humpday Hilarity: Campaign endorsement

Based on my hat being tossed into the ring the other day, I wasn't expecting an endorsement so soon. Just like my bourbon I promise to run my campaign neat.

Also, FU Prez Adams.

h/t Maker's Mark

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Knives vs Guns in the trenches

If Tyler will allow me to pile on for a moment.

I agree, the offensive line should be improved in 2012. As much as I'll miss the guys we lost, Coach Friend's unit will be better equipped to succeed this season. As TD pointed out, the protection was slim and the running lanes were next to nil last season. And not all of that is the offensive line's fault. We had a fullback position that was under-utilized and a tight end position that wasn't able to contribute much blocking wise.

Bruce Figgins is one of my favorites to wear the red and black. I was thrilled to learn last year that he would be moving to fullback because it would allow him to be on the field with Orson, Aron or both and would put a good set of hands out of the backfield. However the result, was Figgins only caught 7 passes for 96 yards and 1 touchdown. What's more is he never carried the ball. Never. His counterpart Zander only carried it twice.

I listened to Richt's reasoning on this (previously unforeseen) development numerous times via the call-in show. Historically, Figgins had never taken a handoff. They weren't planning to (ever) allow him to carry the football. This narrows your offensive weapons and minimizes your choices. Even if it's only somewhat minimized, it still allows the defense to eliminate an option out of the backfield with zero risk of getting burned.

The tight end position did the same thing, albeit from a different direction. Aron White and Orson Charles were terrific targets for Murray. They combined for 54 catches, 675 yards and 9 touchdowns. Of course, Orson did most of the heavy lifting with those stats, but White was a frequent target in the red zone with nearly half of those touchdowns.

The problem is blocking. With all the speed and elusiveness we had at the TE position last season, we didn't have a competent blocker at the position. This, combined with the stripped down version of the fullback position, severely handicapped our protection and blocking schemes.

Enter Artie Lynch and Quayvon Hicks. Lynch has the size of a bonus offensive tackle (6-5, 270+). Hicks dwarfs our current options at fullback (let's face it, Samuel is not a fullback) and has experience taking handoffs. If he can catch up quick this summer he should be starting sooner rather than later. And Lynch, if he can sit in a zone and catch seam route in addition to his blocking duties, we're two steps ahead of where we were last season. Both in terms of protection and options within the playbook.

Of course there are things to iron out along the offensive line, much that only experience and starts can bring along. But I'll be watching Hicks' development closely this August. And come September 1st, I'll be watching the number of times Bobo and Murray call Lynch's number on passing downs as closely as anything else. If those two offensive components can come together, we'll no longer be bringing switchblades to gunfights.

statistics taken from

Monday, June 25, 2012

Monday's Meatloaf - it's time to close the door on Prez Adams

2013...less cognac, more bourbon
(approach podium, clear throat, smile) One score and many moons ago, when I was 17, I failed in an attempt to become mayor of the city of Athens. My whole platform was based on the need for two pizza lines in each school and cheaper gasoline. After all it was $.89/gallon and I was trying to make ends meet while working concessions at The Classic Triple. Goobers and Mike n Ikes stock was down and times were tough. But I was young and a dreamer full of ideals. When I had already lost with 1% of the precincts reporting, I promptly retired from the arena of politics. Convinced it just wasn't for me.

But dear Reader...and mom...I am typing in front of you today as a new man. I lay my 39 years of experience before you as a matter of public record. Debate it, pore over it, let it simmer over the summer. Because a year from now I want to be your president! (pause for applause...)

Thank you, but let me explain. My aim is not for the Oval Office. My aspirations are grander. My vision has laid a course for a loftier perch. You see fair Reader, my skills are needed in Athens GA even more than they are needed in DC; they are needed from the Arch on North Campus all the way across College Station where my intramural softball glory still resonates today; my skills are needed to address concerns over tailgating, concerns over the current lack of pencil sharpeners in classrooms, the need for a week off before and after the WLOCP, seating arrangements in Sanford on Saturdays in the Fall, and repair the image that was been shit all the hell over tarnished over the last several years. (another pause, probably longer this time)

You're probably asking how you can help. No, please...put your wallets and checkbooks away. I appreciate the gesture, but I'd rather you save your hard earned money for a basketball recruit ticket or a trip to the Tate Center Plaza. I don't need signs in yards or volunteers interrupting peoples' suppers every night. I don't need expensive airplane trips across oceans and my wife and I won't need a private residence to hide from our esteemed students. We're Georgia red, the Chapel Bell rings within our hearts and even though this could be considered another Reconstruction Era, our luggage isn't made from carpets. And when we win, you're all invited to my suite in Sanford. Every Saturday - winter, spring summer and fall.

GATA y'all, here's some hope, keep your change and rock the vote! IT"S TIME!! (wave exuberantly, light cigar, point to jumbotron, press play and plug in your air guitar)

Today's Ingredients
- And while you're in the mood to vote, Kyle King would like your ballot placed ASAP for a 5th nominee in the HoF voting.
Hoage doing some Tiger hunting, via DawgBone
- Former Dawg diver Chris Colwill is going back to the Olympics after a dramatic win at the trials yesterday.
- David Ching has compiled a bucket list for UGA fans. How's your list coming so far?
- The Minnesota Vikings believe Blair Walsh is the answer at placekicker. As Blutarsky points out, if so Richt may have some serious 'splaining to do
- You remember last week's chapter on How much Tech fans are obsessed with us where wedding nuptials were taken over a dead Uga cake? Cute, demented little dorks. In this week's chapter ecdawg finds more hilarity from the internet's funniest location, StingTalk.
- CCRider's "review" of Abraham Lincoln Southern Murderer is brief, then takes on a life of its own.
- Donnan has reached a settlement agreement in his Ponzi scheme case.
- Intellivision over says George Plimpton.
- Lastly, Ben Dukes played Down in Flames on national television last week. It's the least Craig Ferguson could do for the guy who "coordinates" the audience so well.

With all due respect to one of the leading scientific minds in history, I would like to take this opportunity to share my own personal findings as it relates to one of Newton's laws of motion.

Sir Isaac, meet Bernie's Law of Energy
Efficiency - SHUT THE DOOR!
You see, it's hot y'all. No amount of lemonade and no number of oscillating/rotating fans is gonna change that now. Each summer I vow to protect my house from two enemies: super-heated, humid air and nasty pests (ants, cockroaches, the flying buzzing kind). My house has three main points of entry, all secured by a door that both shuts and locks. These doors shut out the enemies and lock in the cool, clean air. Amazing!

But here's where it gets troublesome for Sir Isaac, and subsequently myself as well. Opening the door is an action. Now when I open them there is an opposite and equal REaction...the door REcloses, securing everything I hold dear inside (again, most notably cold, clean air). However the same law of motion doesn't hold true for the other occupants of the household. My sturdy, lockable doors are like balls that bounce up, then never return to Earth. It's as if they exist inside vacuums and no amount of times that I say "CLOSE THE DOOR!!!!" does it rectify on its own.

Now, I'm not saying Newton was an idiot. It's just clear he didn't live with my beautiful young ladies...whom I adore and wouldn't trade for anyone else in the world. I just may have to start using that locking mechanism a little more often. And speaking of closing, shut the oven door Reader. Meatloaf's ready. Dig in!


Almost time..

...huge announcement coming soon that I hope you're ready to endorse. Meanwhile, enjoy this video of Bulldogs doing some boogieing. 

Sunday, June 24, 2012

Coach Richt's Love Connection

So we re-spilled the bucket yesterday. It didn't make a complete mess. Still there's some tidying up to do I think. As I said, Mark Richt is as polarizing a figure as you'll find. He may not have the abrasiveness of other love em or hate em personalities, but he divides the Dawg Nation like few have before him have. Therefore, I'm not surprised by any of the opinions we heard from in that post about his legacy thus far. However, let me at least attempt to summarize my viewpoint in an effort to get us all on the same page again.

Opening argument
Coach Richt's blood runs red and black. I love Coach Richt, as much as my heterosexual identity allows. He's been kind to me and my family on a number of occasions. I'm never embarrassed by his actions or personality. He's taken the program to higher levels, as well as the expectations of the fanbase. Instead of going on the road in the SEC expecting to lose we have a competitive chance if not a distinct advantage. We've won division and conference banners that eluded the coaches that preceded him. He's sloppy kissed his wife on the field in Jacksonville, and that's always something I've wanted to do (with Mrs. Bernie, not Kathryn). He has the best interests of each of his players in his heart, from the 5 star phenom to each and every walkon that contributes to the program.

Coach Richt is a rock star. He's as cool as he is calm. My wife and my mom and my kids will probably tell you that it wouldn't hurt for me to emulate him in day to day operations a little more than I do. Around the dinner table my little girls understand that his name is one that suggests attention. His name is one of importance, even moreso than Carrie Underwood. I'm sure it's the same or at least similar in a lot of homes across the southland. So looking forward, as we take just a sample of evidence we'll see that despite the faults, the successes and the issues at hand, we all have the same goal.


The Evidence
Richt's road record is nothing to just glance over. It's a barometer by which I think all head coaches at UGA should be measured going forward. Richt's 38-9 overall true road record is impressive and is a hallmark for getting players and fans energized. It has helped give the program a new identity, one in which the expectation each and every game (regardless of location) is to win. We didn't have that under either of the previous two coaches. Donnan flirted with it; Goff...well, we were just happy the bus driver got the team to the right place on the map.
The date's going pretty well Chuck, but what'd
the audience say?

The neutral site record (including bowls, SECCGs, Boise State and...) however is abysmal, bolstered by a deep hole in Jacksonville. The WLOCP has been just as distasteful under Richt as it has under his predecessors. Three wins versus eight losses doesn't cut it down there. And while it's true that things have changed dramatically down at the University of Florida, they've changed there before and it seems to have made no difference in our luck at AllTel. (read: Zook'd)

The reality is that were it not for a puppet with red panties in the office of AD at Butts-Mehre, Richt would likely not still be in Athens. Even the most ardent Richt supporter has to remember that he completely lost control of the program. He both refused to acknowledge the defensive ineptitude and the institutional flustercluck that was our strength and conditioning program. Friendships got in the way of better judgment. And while that's something most of us can relate to at some time or other, I think this is where many fans began to separate their love for the man in charge from the love for the program as a whole.

Closing Statement
I've cried like a little school girl during the wins in Jacksonville and as the red and black confetti has trickled from the rafters of the Georgia Dome. Mark Richt has held my hand and told me it's okay that Tennessee just scored pretty late in the game, we've got a steady hand at quarterback, Damien Gary, Randy McMichael and Verron Haynes. In short, I've been more than pleasantly surprised by where Richt has taken the program from where it was 12 seasons ago.

But...program before coach y'all. Just because he's undefeated in Tuscaloosa and seems to have turned things around against the gators, that doesn't mean I'm giving the guy carte blanche and freedom to take the tackle football program at UGA just any damn where. That's a leash I'll always have a grasp of as tightly as I please. While Richt eventually addressed the problems on the defensive side of the ball, the insanity that was Coach Fabris and the kickoff teams and the utter shambles the S&C program were in, the jury's still out as to whether he waited too long to do so.

Like Richt, my blood runs Georgia red too. Although our investment has come from different directions, our end goal is the same. Some see it differently. They put their love and admiration for the man ahead of the institution. In the end I guess I understand the infatuation. Again, he's a cool guy and drives a big red truck. However, I can look up to him without putting him on a pedestal.

It's certainly true that we're lucky to have Coach Richt on the sidelines in Sanford Stadium. However, if you don't believe that he's even luckier to have us you need to get your eyesight checked. Regardless of how much we adore Coach Richt or how much room we see for his improvements, 69 days from now we'll all be there. Right behind him. United in the same goal.

Athens. Atlanta. Miami.