Saturday, February 9, 2013

NSD Review - What's your star?

Because I would be remiss if I did not address our side of the recruiting phenomenon...

"You okay son?"
"Wweee losz TunzSil. OMGerrrrD!"
One of the ugliest truths I've learned as a Georgia Bulldog and college football fan is that there are people out there that are more concerned with winning at recruiting than winning actual games. If you don't believe that, you're either ignoring the truth or just haven't been exposed to it. "I mean OMG! We only brought in the 10th ranked class in the nation. That SUCKS! Can't believe I sold my sperm to pay for another year of Dawg Vent!"* 

Sure, they hide behind the guise of being excited about beating Auburn or Florida, but the truth is they are more giddy about the idea that some recruit they've been following may like them more after a win than the implications of said win in the SEC landscape. Did you see what Kamara tweeted after the game?!? And his Facebook blew up with Georgia fans! He's all Dawg IYAM! #DawgforLIFE #unlesswelosethiskidtoSaban

For the sake of humanity, get a life. Or just jump off a cliff and spare us your knuckle draggin', mouth breathing existence. You know, we attempt to quantify high school athletes' talent level. Maybe we should be quantifying the ineptness of some of our own fans.

So...what star fan are you?
1-star I used to be a 2-star but I changed my twitter name after getting suspended and unfollowed. #hahahahahaha
2-star I use my twitter/Instagram/BookFace/[insert latest social media craze] solely as a means of swaying recruits away from Saban. I serve a real purpose for the football school I tweet recruits for you guys. "Reuben SUCKS cuz he isn't a Dawg. #YOLO #badass"
3-star I share exclusive information content on message boreds because it provides a service to the school. My uncle's girlfriend's cousin's mailman's son cuts the grass that KimDeeChee played on. #GATA
4-star I have great potential.
5-star I too have great potential but have been known to emerge from an alley on a non-registered scooter. So I take risks that may have unforeseen consequences.
*Most of you Dawg Venters are great people that lead productive lives outside of your mother's basement and eat more than tater-tots and drink more than Yoo-Hoos. I was speaking to the other ones.