Saturday, May 4, 2013

Chuck Oliver, clown of college football

On Thursday Chuck Oliver stood before the media and answered questions prior to the SEC's big media announcement. Here is a picture of him after someone asked which number comes after three.

I was also in attendance, so I posed a couple questions.

Bernie: “There are some people, whether its clueless lemmings that listen to your drive time drivel or whomever else, that may want to make further conclusions about you or your cheap sportscoat, specifically regarding the big sweat stains. Would you have any response to those people?
Oliver: “My favorite color is fun to say...PURPLE!! Oops. I spit a little bit. PURPLE!!!
Bernie: “Ok. Well, you're an idiot and your microphone smells of onions. There will be people who say that you and anyone that cohosts a show with you specifically come up short on the biggest Atlanta radio frequencies in the choicest of time slots. Also, you're a mouth breather and your knuckles are bloody from dragging the floor. There are some who believe you had to have purchased your Auburn diploma because there is no conceivable way you could construct enough cogent thoughts to achieve the goal on your own. Also, I believe you to be dipshit sir. Shall I continue or do you have any response to that?
Oliver: "I once burped and farted at the same time. Heh."  (Pauses to breath through his gaping orifice.)

Bernie: "Your employer must be so proud. You claim to have something called 'sources'. Who is your source in Athens?"

Oliver: "A Golden Pantry frozen burrito? I named him Tommy."

At this point he began wandering aimlessly around the room and repeatedly saying "It's good to be the king! It's good to be the king!". After he returned to the stage and sat in Saban's chair he was never seen again.