Friday, September 27, 2013

Friday Misery - Lestocracy: like an autocracy that smokes grass AND chews it

Franch /adj/ 1. to describe someone or something as being from the eternally puny country of France. 2. to have smelly armpits 3. thinking highly of oneself without one damn good reason [ex. Dem some franchy good tiger you got right der Co' Miles, I gayRUHNtee!]

Quick thought on Gameday
Most of you know I'm not a fan. I rarely get the opportunity to tune in. And when I do I'd rather thrust sharp knives deep into my ear canal than listen to Herbie perpetuate his hidden agendas and Corso ramble on about being at the Alamo with Davy Crockett and how that factors into the problems with Indiana's defense.

But tomorrow, if you're able, please watch it. Very closely. Because sometime early next week our own version of gameday will air right here. That's right, at the tailgate we're filming BDB Gameday Live, complete with expert analysis, signs and celebrity guest pickers (not named Les). Gonna be fun. And you'll be able to contrast and compare.

One thing's for sure. We'll do a lot less damage to Myers Quad.

Gurley and his Minutemen
Gonna make this short and bitter, with the bureaucratic option to veto that and make it long...and bitter.

Give me your disheartened, your disbelievers, and your disenchanted. Lend me your ear! Cast aside your minute criticisms, your worries and your apprehensions. The only thing we have to fear is...the end of college football season. So stand up straight! Have faith in Aaron Murray! Keep calm and Quayvon! Hunker down deep with Garrison, entrenched in your own Dawgged constitution. We don't need fidgety fingers, nervous nellies or the bitching and the moaning.

For tomorrow, our enemies invade our rich and storied history. They threaten our congressional assembly 'tween the hedges. They bring with them an evil form of government, one built on the falsehoods of building character among young men and rampant inbreeding. In short, they are formidable and we will need your voice, your clear conscience and your intestinal fortitude.

Lester has voted everyone back on the island with his sexual deviants, his jambalaya stuffed ballots and his honeyless badgers. He hides behind the illusion of kindness and second chances. But just like the Berlin Wall, he'll eventually lay in rubble at our feet. it or flick it?

The destruction starts tomorrow ladies and gentlemen. While the national media turns a blind eye towards his practices, we will begin the process of hammering through his party platform built on failed drug tests and "team" votes. We may not be able to shut down his campaign funds, but we can make damn sure there will be no successful stumping in Athens GA, USA.

No sir Lester! You insufferable, idiotic bastard. Your ways and means around the system carry no silent majority here. We don't use cheap ballots and voter fraud as way to govern. While Jeremy Hill was practicing pick up lines on underage girls and pummeling bar patrons in Red Stick, Todd Damn Gurley was saving innocent lives with just his presence. He was carrying a bookbag of awesome to undergraduate classes. He spent his off season balancing the power of justice.

Poor job. Shitty effort Lester. Your étouffée smells as rotten as the swamp rat cooked into it. 

Go Dawgs! #commitottheG #ballforPaul  #beatLSU