Tuesday, September 10, 2013

The next Quayvon?

Decided this was too good not to share. All names have been redacted because I can't remember them. Plus, I'm always in search of opportunities to use the word redacted.

So, we're sitting there nervously watching the Dawgs run up and down the field on the yard birds and several times I've had an occasion to high five the guy next to me, as well as everyone else both adjacent and nearly adjacent to my seat. Everyone that is except for the one Sakerlina fan to my lower right and the especially the one directly behind me. And it was that guy that surely got tired of staring at my ass, because I rarely found an occasion to sit on it.

Anyway. Quayvon Hicks (he's our current starting fullback and also the eventual 2014 Heisman Trophy winner, the 2015 Heisman Trophy winner and 2019 Nobel Peace Prize recipient...just an all around badass) had just run through the heart of the South Carolina defense. The deafening roar within Sanford multiplied exponentially and insanity overcame the multitudes. It was delicious delirium.

So much so that my neighbor screamed, "WE'RE NAMING OUR NEXT SON QUAYVON!!!!"

Now, often such dramatic proclamations strike me speechless; give me pause to gather the enormity of their weight. But without missing a beat I responded, "YOU'RE NAMING YOUR NEXT DAUGHTER QUAYVON!!!"

And so the legend of the female Quayvon, set to begin matriculation sometime around the autumn of 2032, is born. May she enjoy chicken as much as the legend that preceded her.

Go Dawgs!