Friday, November 8, 2013

Friday Misery - Beards vs Knee-Braces, flannel vs THE SEA OF RED!!

...want to punch them in their filthy face. Wanna line up and ram the ball down their Pat Dye throats cuz that bastard's been dead to me for years! I want Murray to throw for 600 and Gurley to score touchdowns til Wednesday. No, not next Wednesday. The third Wednesday of December! I hate their Nick Fairley guts! I hate their War, their Damn, their TigerEagle, and their...

Wait....(shuffles papers...checks google calendar....cross references with Georgia tackle football schedule....refreshes google calendar page to make sure it's on the correct year....waits...curses slow wifi...uh,...)

Well damn. That came out a week early. Huh.

[highlight, right click, copy, open new post, paste, apply future 
timestamp Friday 11/16 7:55am, save!]

Go Auburn State Univer...nope. That's not right.
So, the Mountaineers! Whew. It's been a year hasn't it? Seems like both ages ago as well as yesterday when we were traveling up I-85 a spell to play Clempson. Now it's the second game into November. A breather. An expensive scrimmage. A fat paycheck and some garbage time for the reserves.

At least that's the way it's supposed to be.

Look, here's all you need to know about the Appalachian State Mountaineers - they're our scout team with a full time coaching staff. They grow beards...for academic credit. They piss moonshine and wear lots of flannel. They spread your defense out and throw the ball, then try to gash you with the run. Their defense was constructed from swiss cheese. Next year they'll be in the Sun Belt Conference. They're from near where Eric Rudolph was found in a dumpster looking for a tennis shoe to eat (allegedly). A shadow of their former selves once beat Michigan. Their mascot is one of the old Muppet men in the balcony. He wears flannel, and got an "A" in Beard Growing 104.

Meanwhile, back in DawgNation...You people worried about Todd Gurley...hey, don't worry about Todd Gurley. People worried about getting Hutson Mason some actual playing time...hey, being an idiot doesn't pay the bills son. And if you enjoy some ill-afforded luxury of being able to worry about the 2014 football season here at the end of the 2013 football season,'s a quarter. Call someone who cares.

It's Homecoming! It's the band, the cheerleaders, the alumni, the parade, the Dawg Walk, the crisp autumn air, and the full November sun. It's Saturday. The return of the reptilian conquerors! First home game in a month. A fully dressed primer before the home stretch. And our battered, battling Bulldogs need us. Because when adversity strikes...