Thursday, November 14, 2013

WarTiglesmen killer - Kyle King

Perhaps you think you hate Auburn. There was a time, a fleeting moment perhaps, when I thought that I hated Auburn. But your hate and my hate combined is not enough to even script one sentence fragment in the voluminous chapter that T Kyle King has devoted to his hatred for all things Auburn.

If we hate the Barners, he loathes them and every fiber of their worthless being. If we simply want to beat them thoroughly and soundly, as if to leave no doubt who is the better team on the field and the better fan base in the stands, he wants to see them writhing in pain and sheer agony; he'd like to see them grasping at their ears as we sing victoriously and he laughs maniacally at their current malaise and saddened state.

Normally, I would not use this space to promote a mere wordsmith among the likes of Tra Battle and Steve Boswell and Uga V. But we can draw strength from this former DawgSports editor's surliness:
"I hate Auburn from the crown of my head to the soles of my feet. I hate Auburn in the pit of my stomach and the marrow of my bones and the depths of my soul and from the belly button outward in every direction. I hate Auburn downward to the center of the earth and upward to the heavens and at every point on the map. I hate Auburn for average and I hate Auburn for power. I hate Auburn currently and historically, latently and patently, generally and specifically, and jointly and severally. If hating Auburn were oil, I’d be Iraq."
Yes. Preach it brother! Even a year later the words bring light to a world filled with Auburn's lies and misdeeds. They provide harbor in a storm of Plainsmen deceit and dishonesty. I can almost see Pat Dye's lips moving silently as he tries to pronounce arduous words like crown...and map. In a world where the South's Oldest Rivalry can be split right smack dab in the middle at 54 wins apiece and eight ties, we can

Indeed. Kyle King, damn good Dawg! And expert WarTiglesmen hater!

Abuurn fnas rcok!