Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Mike Campo hired as special teams coach

In a stunning development late last night, Coach Richt hired a little known high school assistant from Ismay, Montana as Georgia's new special teams coach. As yet it is unclear how UGA will fit Mr. Campo on an already full staff, or how the previously assigned special teams duties will relate to this developing situation.

Reached at his home last night, Mr. Campo sounded eager and enthusiastic:
"I'm thrilled. I mean, to go from doing the laundry of a bunch of 8th graders to managing punts and kicks and what not for a major program...Jeez Louise I can't wait to buy a pair of actual shorts!!"
Pressed for more of an indication as to how this move developed, Coach Campo added:
"Just crazy, crazy stuff. I was reading something called the AJC that was just chock full of comments about all the help Georgia needed with special teams. So I sent Mark Richt an outline I drew up for how to revamp all the punting and kicking for the Bulldogs and what not. Mostly highly technical stuff like having punters wear gloves and kicker people taking karate. Did you know there's no rule against punters using stilts?"
Incidentally, calls to Coach Richt and AD McGarity have not been returned. But that didn't stop Mr. Campo from confirming the news for us.
"Oh, it's a done deal. The contract was easy to finalize because I'm getting a base salary of $2 million per year, with $500,000 fines for every missed kick, blocked punt, or fair catch."
At which time I pointed out that Georgia is about half way through spring practices. When is this guy planning to start this special teams overhaul in Athens?
"Well. As soon as I can get to the General Store and pick up a map. I've never been south of Cheyenne. Has the snow melted down there yet?"
Oh boy.