I'd like to provide alternatives for your first Saturday evening without football in some time. A word of caution however - depending on your own neighborly environs, some of these could get you a visit from Officer Friendly who also might just be a recently disgruntled Auburn fan. So proceed with caution.
Regardless, you should find something to do rather than listen to Kirk Herbstreit gush over Baker Mayfield. Although the ratings will probably sky rocket if they end up grabbing each others' crotch. At any rate, here are my suggestions:
- Eat a big bowl of Captain Crunchberries at 8:00 pm.
- Call your mom and tell her you just ate a big bowl of Captain Crunchberries at 8:00 pm.
- Find a nice romantic comedy to watch with your significant other.
- If you can't find your significant other, watch a nice Holiday film like Die Hard for the 173rd time. YIPPEE KI YAH!!!
- Call your favorite Tennessee fan and ask them if Jeremy Pruitt is going to coach them in their bowl...."Aw shit. I'm sorry. Welp, how's your mama n them?"
- Start reading a book. Or at least open one up in your lap before you doze off so that it looks like you were doing something important.
- Rewatch last week's SEC Championship game and text updates to your favorite Auburn fan as the game develops.
- Find a new favorite Auburn fan because your last one just blocked you.
- Help your wife with all those Christmas Cards. Or at least refill her wine glass. Stop sitting there drooling in your kid's Diary of a Wimpy Kid book and be helpful!!
- Go back to September of 2008 and re-read every post I've ever written. Then translate them into Mandarin for all my homeboys over in Manchuria!
- Prepare a large tumbler of bourbon and go door to door singing Christmas carols. Take your dog along for the harmony of it.
- Create a fake Baker Mayfield's cell phone twitter account that only tweets random Roquan Smith stats and related facts.
Whatever you choose to do to pass the time tomorrow evening, make it a great weekend Dawgs!