Is your refrigerator running?
On this episode of "Irascible Midwesterners"...
"Hello, this is Coach Odom returning your call."
"Oh, thanks Barry. My name is Bernie and I just have a few questions."
"It's Coach Odom, or just Coach. Shoot."
"Cool, I was wondering if you'd like to contribute a post to my blog here. Maybe something more in your wheelhouse than college football head coaching. More along the lines of fishing, or word puzzles, or..."
"What? What the hell are you talking about?"
"Well, head coaching didn't turn out well for you. I just thought a fresh start into something new could potentially benefit both of us."
"But I'm still the head co..."
"What are some of your non-football related hobbies? Because I definitely don't need you to write about football related things. Like, at all!"
"Is this some kind of joke?"
"Oh, comedy. That'd be great Barry! I'm thinking Monday morning for that one. People need a pick me up on Mondays. What else?"
"Seriously, I'm trying to prepare for Geor..."
"What about resume building or interviewing skills. I mean, you really pulled the wool over former Missouri AD Mack Rhoades' eyes! That's something both useful and comical for my Reader."
"What'd you say your name is again?"
"Bernie. You once recruited me as a linebacker. Even though I'm closer to my next colonoscopy than I am a sub 7.0 forty time. Oh! That's an idea, readers love recruiting tales. You got any stories of Pinkel sharing a box of chardonnay with Chase Daniel's mom?"
"This is bullshit! I'm hanging up. The team's out there stretching and I've got a practice to run!"
"Wait, you're still the Missouri head coach?!!?"
Bye week appetizer
I can kinda relate to how Barry feels. What a week. Monday kicked me in the <clown noises>, and then Tuesday held me up so both Wednesday and Thursday could take turns poking me in the <more clown noises>. If Kirby's taking orders I'll have another divisional opponent blow out and a gator loss chaser please!
To make matters more confusing, nothing about these tigers scare me...and that scares me. I think I've listened to too many people that have us rolling through the rest of the schedule like a 24lb bowling ball, slipping some Rat-X into Saban's Dasani, and then dancing into the second week of January.
That just sets us up to get punk slapped.
But not this week. I think they take some deep shots early. And Lock may even connect for a cheap score before Tucker's Savages expose them for the one-dimensional-deadbeat-offense that they are. Plus, their defense is not just trash, it's a landfill of Harvey Weinstein "pick up" lines. It's a trailer park casserole filled with possum parts and topped with two month old government cheddar. Chaney can name his number and I hope his goes higher than his waistline.
Georgia ensured one coach of a pink slip on Rocky Top a couple weeks ago. Tomorrow night in Sanford they ensure Odom's as well. The only thing left to bet on is if Barry mentions me in the post-game presser.
Now, remove your hats and please bow your head...Dear God in Heaven, please help our most naive fans steer clear of click bait and realize that the season is played in actual games and not in digital print. And help Tucker make Drew Lock a lock to sit on the bench during a fourth quarter blow out. Go Dawgs and Amen!
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
Since I came within two meaningless Vandy touchdowns last week of nailing the final score, it only seems fitting that I take a stab at this one:
GEORGIA - 55
missouri - 7
Friday, October 13, 2017
Sunday, October 8, 2017
Another business like road performance moves the Dawgs to 6-0, 3-0 for the first time since DJ Shockley’s final season. Unlike previous weeks when the defense has garnered the headlines, yesterday saw the offensive line leading the way as both Chubb and Michel eclipse the century mark and the team racked up 423 yards on 54 carries. Hell, Fromm himself averaged nine yards a carry.
And the opening drive for Georgia set the tone. Chaney asked his offensive line to open up the middle and they did just that, to the tune of seven plays for 83 yards ending with Chubb powering his way into the end zone on a 33 yard jaunt. It was an old football theory put to good use - run a play until they stop it.
The next thing that impressed me the most was the second string defense. Granted by the time they entered the game the outcome had long been decided and the Commodores were just a sad, tired bunch, but they played with the same attitude and desire that you see in the starters. So there was never an ebb in intensity from start to finish.
And that’s a characteristic of this team that should propel it into the heart of the schedule going forward. Fromm casually steps out of bounds short of the first down marker, gets an absolute earful from the head guy, goes back in and uses his feet to make a big gain even bigger by breaking a tackle for another five yards.
I hear the media already pointing to a showdown on November 11th with Auburn. That’s the kind of thing that worries you as a fan, hoping and praying the team can block that out. Today, I worry less though. I worry less because I trust the team and its coaches. How could you not after these first six games?
These next three weeks are huge. Missouri showed signs of life in Lexington last night. Drew Lock is going to challenge this defense down the field. The off week will recharge the batteries before the WLOCP, a place that’s been begging for a culture change for decades.
I don’t know that we’ll enter November undefeated. But I do know that I trust this team will do everything to prepare, each day, each week, each game, and each down.
And I know I like that feeling a lot. Go Dawgs!